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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Asya on January 18, 2004, at 14:40:42
So this morning I was just overwhelmed with pain and sadness and cried and cried in bed. My dad heard, came in, tried to talk to me, mom came in, ripped the covers off and tried to drag me out of bed and told me I was being a baby, crying wasn't going to solve anything, etc. She ketp saying "Just tell me what your problem is?" but it is so hard for me to articulate. I mean, the problem is years and years of feeling hated by her. And if I said that she'd just say bullshit, that's not true. When I didn't respond to her so-called "tough love" queries, she left the room, vowing she wasn't going to speak to me. This happens a lot and it is so hard because she makes my life a living hell when we're not speaking since we live in the same house. I am looking for an apartment but that will take a little time to find. Gosh, I just feel so alone, and she always makes me feel bad for hating her but I really do think she's a despicable person and she has been the worst mother to me. Thanks for letting me rant.
Posted by sarita0001 on January 18, 2004, at 15:52:17
In reply to I just need to vent..., posted by Asya on January 18, 2004, at 14:40:42
Hi,
I'm sorry that happened. My parents are hard to deal with too. I left home young thinking this would help and it did, but the issues I never confronted them with hit me hard later. They're the type that never want to talk about anything, ever. I could do blatant things like come home drunk and no one would say a word about it, especially my Dad. This still drives me nuts- but he has never dealt with his issues about him and his dad and never talks about anything emotional.
My mom used to get on me about my weight all the time- and i hated it especially because it was from psyc. meds and not my fault. So I went on Topamax (weight loss drug) and that caused bad side effects and so that finally got her off my back. I also told her how much it hurt my feelings. It took me several years to do this though- not til I was 24 (last year) In 7 years I was on meds, they rarely supported me with my condition, just with money for treatment. I really needed their support even though I was on my own, successful, etc. Things are more out in the open and I still have trouble accepting the fact that people don't change communication helps.
So hang in there. If you can try and talk to her about it, or to someone you can really trust. I hope you feel better.
Sara
Posted by Ilene on January 18, 2004, at 21:31:58
In reply to I just need to vent..., posted by Asya on January 18, 2004, at 14:40:42
> So this morning I was just overwhelmed with pain and sadness and cried and cried in bed. My dad heard, came in, tried to talk to me, mom came in, ripped the covers off and tried to drag me out of bed and told me I was being a baby, crying wasn't going to solve anything, etc. She ketp saying "Just tell me what your problem is?" but it is so hard for me to articulate. I mean, the problem is years and years of feeling hated by her. And if I said that she'd just say bullshit, that's not true. When I didn't respond to her so-called "tough love" queries, she left the room, vowing she wasn't going to speak to me. This happens a lot and it is so hard because she makes my life a living hell when we're not speaking since we live in the same house. I am looking for an apartment but that will take a little time to find. Gosh, I just feel so alone, and she always makes me feel bad for hating her but I really do think she's a despicable person and she has been the worst mother to me. Thanks for letting me rant.
Rant away.There's a saying that you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives. My mother's been dead for about 6 years and I never missed her. (My dad's been dead for 9 months and I miss him all the time.) I wouldn't say she was a "despicable person" but she was the kind of person who would have yelled at me because I was unhapppy. I'd call her emotionally abusive.
It was only when my mother was dying that she started talking about her childhood and her relationship with her own mother. I have a much better understanding of her now that she is dead than I ever had when I was alive. I also think I inherited my mental illness from her, although she was not blatantly depressed. I don't think she was fully aware of her behavior.
Not speaking to someone is really childish, so if you can manage to be polite to your mother you retain the moral high ground. (hee hee)I hope you find an apartment so you can put some space between yourself and your mother. Good luck.
Ilene
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