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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 29, 2004, at 23:15:51
This is a followup from my post on PB meds, http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040122/msgs/304860.html.
First thanks to everyone who sent good vibes my way.
Emotionally right now I'm as flat as a pancake. I don't know anymore if things are improving, shifting laterally, or getting worse. On top of that, I feel pretty apathetic about the whole thing.
The thing is, I've been through more drug trials in the las six months than most people go through in six years. I'm coming out the other end healthwise and emotionally worse than I've ever been. Getting into specifics would take too long to write. I'm on the bleeding edge of losing my crappy job and I have no safety net. My daughter is beginning to notice things aren't quite right with me. Something as simple as bathing is overwhelming to me. I'm constantly too tired to do anything productive.
I'm talking to my pdoc tomorow over the phone. I'm tempted to just go down and barge into his office but I know that's a bad idea. I have an extraordinary hard time asserting myself when it comes to my needs. Right now I'm very angry at him for not getting back to me sooner. I try to remind myself that the guy is a family friend with 30+ years of clinical experience. He's also the director of inpatient services and ECT at the University hospital. He might not be so great on the whole communication thing but given the way I react to meds I wouldn't trust anyone else.
I think I need some intervention now, but I keep going back and forth.
Posted by Poet on January 30, 2004, at 10:05:25
In reply to back and forth and back and forth again and again, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 29, 2004, at 23:15:51
Jeff,
Are you seeing a therapist, too? You said your pdoc isn't a good communicator so I'm assuming that he's for meds only. I see a med doc and a therapist.
I'm not a therapy junkie, I've been in it for 18 months and hope that I won't be in it for 18 more years. I resisted seeing anyone for years (decades actually) and it's hard, but even stubborn me can see that I've had some good positive changes.
Let me know what your pdoc says.
Take care.
Poet
Posted by Ilene on January 30, 2004, at 15:04:35
In reply to back and forth and back and forth again and again, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 29, 2004, at 23:15:51
I'm happy to see your post even though you aren't doing too well. I can relate to finding the most ordinary tasks--such as bathing--to be overwhelming. I'm not motivated to even get out of bed, I can't concentrate on the details, I forget things, I do them wrong, and then I feel *so* stupid. Like today I forgot to close the bathroom door all the way when I was showering and I got too cold, so I ran the water too hot and had a dizzy spell (I can't maintain normal blood pressure under some circumstances; heat is one of them).
I second Poet's suggestion to get a therapist. Maybe your pdoc can help because he's connected to the university. One of the universities around here has a sliding scale psych clinic.
My pdoc also does therapy. I've been seeing her for a year or two and she hasn't done me any good at all, but at least she's concerned and has provided moral support. I'm grateful for that, even if I've swallowed a few pounds of ineffective yet dangerous psychotropics under her care.
I think the mere fact that you *have* a job is remarkable. I haven't worked in years. When I did I got fired/laid off a lot.
I can't offer any thoughts about whether you should hospitalize yourself or not. I don't know what it's like.
I wish I could think of something more intelligent to say. Maybe "get well soon"? Duh.
I.
This is the end of the thread.
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