![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 15, 2004, at 2:24:56
I'm thinking of seeking hospitalization. I'm having delusional thoughts, suicidal ideation, hallucenations, etc. that is becoming too much to deal with. Also, my chronic fatigue and pain is reaching new heights. I am just functioning enough to stay alive. I can't stand it anymore.
I'm thinking an inpatient stay, while no silver bullet, could help. I feel that I can't get the attention and tests I need seeing just a pdoc once a month. The only reason I even see him is because my parents' business is on trade with him. I can't afford my meds, I can't afford therapy and I can't afford a doc for the chronic fatigue and pain. The state is no help. My SSDI app is pending.
The trouble is, I don't think my pdoc will approve my admission. He might but it's doubtful. I talk to him tomorrow. I want to kill myself pretty badly but I know I won't because of my daughter. That aside, this is pure hell.
I don't know how to convince my pdoc I need to go in. The protocol in Utah is that you can only be admitted as an emergency if you are an immediate threat to yourself. I believe at that point it's an involuntary committment. The ground rules change a lot after that. Separation from my daughter without knowing when I'll see her again could be very damaging to me.I feel like doing something extreme (like SI) to get admitted. I don't want it to come to that. I don't know what to do or how to convince my pdoc.
Posted by tinydancer on March 15, 2004, at 3:22:12
In reply to I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 15, 2004, at 2:24:56
I think its horrible to be in a position where you want to get admitted but you are uncertain if you will. Usually if there is room it should not be a problem. I have found that being suicidal and completely apathetic, that is, unable to bathe, eat, or do anything is usually enough to get you admitted. I hope that this is the best thing for you, I know that admission can sometimes worsen things because you cut yourself off and re-entry into life is a lot harder if you're only going in for a short term stay.
The best thing is to call your doctor and see what they think. I'm sorry I can't be of more help.
Posted by fallsfall on March 15, 2004, at 8:11:41
In reply to I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 15, 2004, at 2:24:56
I have been admitted based on fears that I would hurt myself. You said that you "feel like doing something extreme". It might tip the balance to say that you are AFRAID that very soon you WILL do something extreme - that you don't WANT to right now, but you are feeling like you may be backed into a corner where you don't really have the choice to stay safe. I hear desperation in your post - my hospitalizations helped a lot with my desperation.
There are involuntary admissions in my state, but most people are admitted voluntarily. Typical hospital stays around here are 3 - 5 days (I personally think a longer stay can be more helpful). Do you know anyone in Utah who has been in a Psych hospital? You could go to the hospital and ask for a tour - tell them you are feeling a bit unstable and want to know what the hospital looks like and how it is run so that if you get to the point where you need to go there you are already familiar with it. Ask the hospital about voluntary vs. involuntary admissions.
I know you've been in a lot of pain for quite a while. It is a positive thing that you are thinking about getting more intensive help.
Please ask any questions you can think of here, too. Many of us have been hospitalized.
Posted by All Done on March 15, 2004, at 9:57:26
In reply to I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 15, 2004, at 2:24:56
Posted by kid47 on March 15, 2004, at 10:07:29
In reply to I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 15, 2004, at 2:24:56
SDJeff. I am really sorry everything sux so bad for you right now. My head is not in the greatest place so all I can offer is my support and a quick note. After struggling with errant brain chemistry and discombobulated treatment, I was admitted to the hospital.(I was psychotic and suicidal) The continuity of care and monitored med regimen I received there pretty much saved my life. For me it was one of the best treatment experiences I have ever encountered. I know there are folks who might disagree, but it sounds to me like hospitalization is your best option. I know (hope) the talk of SI is born of total desparation and not something you would really do. My brain is not functioning well enough to offer any helpful ideas on the pros & cons of the other considerations you mentioned. Man, I am pulling for you. Keep posting.
kid
Posted by Ilene on March 15, 2004, at 10:47:04
In reply to I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 15, 2004, at 2:24:56
I was hospitalized last week, for six days. I was nervous about going in, but it was a positive experience. I got to interact with people who willingly talked about being mentally ill.
It was helpful in the shortrun but certainly no cure. I felt incredibly better while I was in the hospital but now I'm adjusting to being back in the real world, with all its stressors.
I felt a lot like you, I think, except I don't have any psychotic symptoms (hallucinations, delusions) and my cfs is recurrent. I had nearly constant suicidal ideation but I felt too responsible for my kids to transfer the pain to them, although I feel ineffectual as a parent.
I don't think your pdoc needs to approve your admission. You need to convince the psychiatric resident at the ER. Maybe your psychotic symptoms would work in your favor.
The hospital I went to is a major *private* university medical center in the District of Columbia. I don't know the legalities of voluntary vs. involuntary admission there. I was admitted through the ER but my pdoc contacted them ahead of time. There was no problem getting admitted. (My difficulties were convincing the insurance company that admission was "medically necessary", but you don't have that problem.) Even though I fessed up to suicidal ideation there was no discussion of involunary commitment.
I'm not sure what the difference in care is between the nice cushy private hospital I went to and an underfunded public hospital. Gotta figure it's significant. However--there was a homeless man on the ward, and a couple of men who were indigent or close to it.
They performed several medical tests, and managed to pick up a borderline low thyroid that my (former) internist hadn't found. That level of testing would be a real advantage for you, since you can't afford regular medical care. They also had a social worker who wanted to put me in a partial hospitalization (day treatment) program after I got out. (I haven't decided if I'm going to do that or not.) Again, a social worker might know of resources that could help you.
Another advantage is being monitored while you undergo med changes. I had a 24-hour urine test when I started lithium. I think they also looked for vitamin deficiencies and other things (beyond the usual) in my (frequent) blood tests.
My family came every day. I don't see why you would be separated from your daughter as long as someone was willing to bring her for a visit. I'd think the psych ward staff would be willing to work with her mother or your parents on that.
I think it's worth a try, even if it turns into an involuntary stay. I believe there are limits on how long they can keep you (e.g. 48 hours). They are certainly not going to want to keep you longer than necessary. You can always say you no longer feel suicidal.
Good luck.
Posted by Ilene on March 16, 2004, at 13:13:26
In reply to I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 15, 2004, at 2:24:56
Posted by fallsfall on March 16, 2004, at 20:31:56
In reply to Re: I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions » socialdeviantjeff, posted by Ilene on March 15, 2004, at 10:47:04
Ilene,
I'm glad you had a positive stay at the hospital. And I'm glad to see that you are out now.
P.S. I found the partial hospitalization program really helpful.
Posted by Sebastian on March 16, 2004, at 22:31:47
In reply to I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 15, 2004, at 2:24:56
call your doctor and ask him to help you. Ask for advice on how you can solve the situaltion. He should help if he/she knows what is going on. Its there job. If its a real emegency you can call 911.
Posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 17, 2004, at 0:17:27
In reply to Re: I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions, posted by Sebastian on March 16, 2004, at 22:31:47
Thanks, guys. I'm talking to my pdoc tomorrow about options. Prior to about last month I was scared of the prospect of going. Now I think it's pretty much the only way to get help I need. I want to go, I think I need to.
Because I've been scared before, and still am, (I read too many horror novels, I think) I haven't been totally straightforward with my pdoc. He really doesn't know the full extent of my issues. I hope he takes it well. At least I have the comfort of knowing he's actually the director of the institute I want to go to.
So if you don't hear from me tomorrow night...
Posted by Elle2021 on March 17, 2004, at 1:13:55
In reply to Re: I'm thinking of going inpatient-need opinions, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 17, 2004, at 0:17:27
Hope things work out for you Jeff, I'm thinking of you.
Elle
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.