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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tabitha on March 15, 2004, at 21:36:07
I've lost my center. The weekend was crazy. I went shopping, found nothing acceptable, so decided to do some sewing. Spent a day going to fabric store, websurfing sewing info, and struggling to make a '2 hour' top. It's mostly done, but I'm stuck on the last part.
Got an estimate on paint/stucco from a guy Sunday, and signed the contract on the spot. It's not like me to do that. I had some misgivings about the price and the procedure he described, but the plus side was he said they could start Monday (today). I wrote a deposit check to him.
This morning they didn't show up before I left for work and I called the guy's cell. He said he's in Portland but he'd find out and call back within 1/2 hour. He didn't call back. I got a little freaked, realizing I knew nothing about this company except they'd left a flyer on my door, I'd talked to an answering service, then seen the sales pitch. I looked up in yellow pages, the BBB site, and google, absolutely nothing on the company at all! No phone book listing, no BBB membership, zero google hits. The sales guy has said the company was in business since 1977 and had 12 crews working-- how could it leave no trace? I freaked. Decided the guy was a con artist, leaving flyers, giving the pitch, collecting checks, then leaving town.
I went through this whole damage control plan. I needed to get home, find the check number, try to stop payment, then if it was cashed already call the police and report the fraud. I debated buying some wine after dealing with the police. I decided to hide this shameful victimization from everyone except my support group. I'd mentioned to a couple people about starting this job-- I'd just tell them I cancelled the job. I kept thinking it's only money, I'll recover. It's a wakeup call to do my homework on these things (I usually do).
So I got home and they had started. Not much, but definitely someone had been there. I looked up the business license number and sure enough it exists. I still don't get why no phonebook listing and no BBB listing, or why he didn't call back.I'm feeling stressed out, far from my center. How can I get it back? Dinner, yoga, early bed, early to work. Right? Nobody can take my center. Nobody can take my center.
Posted by octopusprime on March 15, 2004, at 21:44:56
In reply to High Anxiety, posted by tabitha on March 15, 2004, at 21:36:07
oh dear.
my goodness those are some ambitious projects you are taking on ... home renovation, new job (or return to old job?), etc.
you are absolutely right that they can't take your center. (or as we say in canada, centre :) however, all that change at once might be a bit overwhelming ... so ordinary decision making might fly out the window a bit
no need to flagellate yourself over what could have been done differently, what's done is done. you seem to be coping extremely well with the stress. your plan of centring sounds pretty good.
i would also recommend a nice long hot bubble bath and a book. maybe some chocolate. (and maybe writing a list of rejuvenating weekend activities for next weekend, like bird watching or hiking or movies or something)
ps don't clean though that's anxiety producing!
Posted by tabitha on March 15, 2004, at 22:24:47
In reply to Re: High Anxiety, posted by octopusprime on March 15, 2004, at 21:44:56
it *is* a lot of change all at once. Thanks for the reminder. And no more flagellating. I can re-frame all this into positives.. when I've calmed down a bit.
your centring ideas are good. My original plan was maybe too ambitious. I did manage a shower and a bowl of yogurt with fruit, but making dinner was beyond me. And yoga? well, does one deep breath count? I think I'll drop one or two dishes in the dishwasher then retire to an early bed with a movie.
Posted by Dinah on March 15, 2004, at 23:10:40
In reply to High Anxiety, posted by tabitha on March 15, 2004, at 21:36:07
Don't feel bad about it. When we got our gutters (the first time) I went with a company that had been in business nearly fifty years and had a stellar reputation with the BBB. Moreover, the salesman impressed me with his knowledge and the lovely certificate of guarantee by the manufacturer he showed me. I should have been a bit concerned that he told me how the gutters could be fixed by anyone who carried that manufacturer. I interviewed three companies and chose this one. They did the job right away, but requested that the check be made out to the owner personally rather than the company because they were in the process of "reorganizing" the company. I didn't like it, but the job was finished, and I called the office and got the same answer, so I wrote the check.
A week later the phone was disconnected. In business for fifty years and they shut down a week after putting in my gutters.
The gutters started leaking in a few years. Three new people out to give estimates. All three said that the gutters were substandard. I don't know what happened, but I suspect there was something going on.
So all the checking in the world doesn't guarantee success, unfortunately.
And don't get me started about the tree company who gave us an insurance certificate, but not in our name. Over my objections, they just started working. I called the insurance company and it turns out their insurance had been cancelled for nonpayment a month earlier. So *always* get the insurance certificate in your name sent directly from the insurance company. Don't trust one that was issued to someone else. :( Another reputable company.
Oh, and the landscape company! *&^%$!!!!!
The second gutter company was great. We were lucky. And we now have a tree company that is so terrific, we're always sorry not to have trees that need serious pruning or cutting down. Oh, and the contractor who swept up every bit of dirt from our sidewalks and street so that it was cleaner than when we started. I almost cry thinking of that one. Sniff. Sniff.
It's a lottery when it comes to dealing with contractors. Don't let it get to you.
(How is work going?)
Posted by Susan J on March 16, 2004, at 7:52:28
In reply to High Anxiety, posted by tabitha on March 15, 2004, at 21:36:07
Hiya, Tab, :-)
I dunno if your guys are on the up and up, but my mother works for a home builder who has lots of sub-contractors.....It's a little company and she's known the plumber, the drywall guy, the brick layer, the painter, the siding guy, the electrician, (all subs), for 25 plus years.
For them to *not* call back is normal. For them to *not* have a listing is normal (especially with cell phones today). For them to *not* show up on time is normal. For them to *not* be registered with the BBB is normal. They change phone numbers often, and basically are not always the most organized business people in the world. But it does not necessarily reflect the quality of work they do. They could be fabulous.
They work for themselves and one of the bennies is to *not* be held to anyone else's schedule.I had one of them put in my kitchen floor over the summer/fall. It took 3 weeks to get him there just to get an estimate, and another 3 weeks before he actually showed up to do the work. He called last minute and said he could come over on a Wednesday or something. But the work he did is just gorgeous.
Anyway, it really is a hit or miss thing, and I hope your guys are fab. It can be a nerve-wracking process for someone who is used to orderly business transactions (like me), but this still could turn out great. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Susan
Posted by tabitha on March 16, 2004, at 9:12:06
In reply to Re: High Anxiety » tabitha, posted by Susan J on March 16, 2004, at 7:52:28
Hmmm..interesting. I usually weed out the ones that don't call back and seem disorganized. Thanks for the tips. I really thought it odd he had no phone listing. He showed me a BBB logo as part of the sales pitch and said they only had one complaint in 25 years, so I assumed he must be a member. Maybe it's all more normal than I think. We'll see. The kindly estimator guy kept reassuring me what good work they do, been in business since 1977, blah blah blah. I guess it could all be OK. Or only slightly exaggerated.
Posted by tabitha on March 16, 2004, at 9:22:38
In reply to Re: High Anxiety » tabitha, posted by Dinah on March 15, 2004, at 23:10:40
Wow, now I'm feeling almost lucky. I've had good experiences with a painter, plumber, roofer, general handyman, and a foundation company, and only somewhat bad from a carpenter. And the worst one (carpenter) was from personal referral-- all the others I found randomly through phonebook or websites. Landscaping is one I'm dreading. Maybe this summer.
Work is OK, thanks for asking. I'm getting a little stressed, but fighting it (and discussing in therapy how to cope). I'm not back to the place I was before I quit. Averaging 42-43 hours, trying to get down to 40. I just turned in my first invoice-- should get paid this week, yay!
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