Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by inthegloaming on April 4, 2004, at 22:50:34
this has got to stop.
i don't even know what to say anymore. i think i'm insane. these little things, these webs of information getting back to the wrong people... they're causing explosions in my blood, causing me to stab the wall and scream. i confide something, they tell it, i don't know... it's not even about that. i gave them leave? did i? i said 'do what you want.' at the end. so tired.
talking about the girl. the implications of me liking her, of how i hate myself for it. how i feel evil and awful and ugly for my love, how i worry that she'll hate me, that she'll see what a monster i am. i'm monstering myself, i can see myself doing it, but i can't stop. i'm on some crazy road... i don't even know if this makes sense... who are these people? these infoleaks? it's all my fault. i can't keep my mouth shut so i flip and then go numb. so numb. in on myself.
don't know what else to say. just need to vent and ramble. for which i thank you.--g
Posted by Fallen4myT on April 4, 2004, at 23:17:48
In reply to i don't know... where to go... they're killing me, posted by inthegloaming on April 4, 2004, at 22:50:34
Sorry you feel so badly..You may really want to think of calling your T to talk on this..and vent more if you need to ..we care
hugs
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2004, at 23:39:54
In reply to Re: i don't know... where to go... they're killing me » inthegloaming, posted by Fallen4myT on April 4, 2004, at 23:17:48
We're here for you if you need us. But please also call your pdoc or T, who I think can provide more comfort to you.
Take care,
gg
Posted by inthegloaming on April 5, 2004, at 2:37:03
In reply to Re: i don't know... where to go... they're killing me, posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2004, at 23:39:54
thanks for your support, you guys. it means a ton to me. after i wrote all that i felt lots and lots and lots better. me and the girl hung out a little which was very, very nice--she's really understanding and gets that i'm going through a lot of internal stuff related to this whole mess...
as for my T, she's in a dif. state so we usually have phone sessions. i was dumb and missed my last one cos my phone was on vibrate and have yet to reschedule... so much to do! also, i don't generally call out of session...
thanks again.
--g.
Posted by Fallen4myT on April 5, 2004, at 12:26:14
In reply to Re: Fallen4MyT and gardenergirl, posted by inthegloaming on April 5, 2004, at 2:37:03
So glad to hear you are some better...and anytime :-) I just wanted to add that even though you do not usually call your T when not shceduled sometimes its worth it
HUGS
Posted by gardenergirl on April 7, 2004, at 11:30:45
In reply to Re: Fallen4MyT and gardenergirl » inthegloaming, posted by Fallen4myT on April 5, 2004, at 12:26:14
This is the end of the thread.
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