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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 64bowtie on May 19, 2004, at 13:34:56
On the admin board some more and seemingly un-necessary fire-storms erupted over simple comments, never meant for the obvious troubles they caused. If any feel forgiveness is in order, this troubles me. I for the longest time have bypassed the feel-good of forgiveness, looking instead for the acceptance of my apology (heart-felt) accompanied by my promise to amend my behavior.
What practical purpose does forgiveness serve other than a feel-good for all? Next week, the same behavior emerges. Children seem to have short memories based in feelings, but my memories are based in sight as an adult. The picture of my transgression lingers until I do something to ensure that it won't happen again.
No one, and I do mean no other one, is a target of this posting. I am sticking to the narrow theme of adults see their errors and can promise to amend their behavior. Children may get a feel-good outta forgiveness, but a week later, change their performance ever so slightly, thereby not being held accountable, since the new caper doesn't feel the same as the one they were forgiven for the week before.
In addition, I have replaced general avoidance of the unknown with general discovery. I have replaced fear of the known and unknown, with respect for the dangers I used to fear. I have replaced my expectations of others and the world, along with my obligatory thinking, with responsibility, planning, goals, and optional thinking. And above all, I have replaced my sense and seeking of approval as a child, with true adult love and loving; caring without obligation or expectation.
By these changes, I have found freedom. I honor that freedom, and the happiness on a daily basis that comes with the freedom. I can respect you because I know how. I learned by first respecting myself and honoring my accomplishments, along with my adult abilities, skills, and attributes.
If I did it, anyone can. If no one ever has, why try?
Rod
Posted by fayeroe on May 19, 2004, at 15:34:57
In reply to No more fire storms, please..., posted by 64bowtie on May 19, 2004, at 13:34:56
I can understand your line of thinking and I would hope that you could pause and consider that everyone is in very different stages of development in their emotional growth. For some it is hard enough to get in front of the computer to log on here. For others, it's old home week all the time. I appreciate your supportiveness for folks here. I am happy that you have achieved what you have in your personal growth. Just keep in mind that we're all in different spaces. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "we all star in our own movie". Pat p.s. in no way do I condone "blowing up" over this and that but sometimes a person has to go through some explosions and implosions to get better. :-)
Posted by Jai Narayan on May 19, 2004, at 17:39:38
In reply to Re: No more fire storms, please... » 64bowtie, posted by fayeroe on May 19, 2004, at 15:34:57
You are such a gentle and caring person. I love the sensitivity you bring to your posts. We are all at different stages and life growths....I love that you clarified that. It always helps me to be aware of that and I know for myself my personal growth goes in fits and starts....
But I must say you are such a symphony of sensitivity....
I do appreciate you so much.
Posted by fayeroe on May 20, 2004, at 9:11:27
In reply to my dear Fayeroe...I love what you have to say..., posted by Jai Narayan on May 19, 2004, at 17:39:38
dear jai~~~~ thank you so much. i hesitated for a long time before i wrote that but i felt it really needed to be said as i know how my growth goes in spurts and sputters......
Posted by 64bowtie on May 20, 2004, at 12:26:02
In reply to Re: No more fire storms, please... » 64bowtie, posted by fayeroe on May 19, 2004, at 15:34:57
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 21, 2004, at 23:49:00
In reply to No more fire storms, please..., posted by 64bowtie on May 19, 2004, at 13:34:56
> some ... seemingly un-necessary fire-storms erupted over simple comments
Keeping in mind that the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, could you please rephrase that?
If you have any questions or comments about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
or redirect a follow-up to Psycho-Babble Administration.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by 64bowtie on May 24, 2004, at 11:31:08
was:
> > some ... seemingly un-necessary fire-storms erupted over simple comments
>instead:
> > some ... fire-storms erupted over simple comments
><<< I'm always on your side...
Rod
This is the end of the thread.
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