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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by karen_kay on May 28, 2004, at 13:39:30
so, i heard a rumor about you and the fed ex man. what a lucky man he is! i've heard that when he walks into the office, he makes his way straight to your desk (nevermind that you are the first desk and your name is on the package). i've heard he wears his shortest shorts and tightest shorts, just for you. i've heard that he often drops the package on the way up the stairs, just so he can come back the next day to see your beautiful face. i've heard he also calls you miss sunshine. i've heard he flirts with you, and even took up smoking just so he can join you on a ciggy break. and when he coughs from the smoke, he does so in a 'husky' voice, just to capture your attention. i've heard he asks you for change for a dollar, even though you can hear the change rattling around in his pocket as he walks up the stairs. i've heard he watches you walk down the stairs, but slyly so you won't catch him looking. i've heard he 'accidently' locks his keys in the truck, just so he can spend hours talking to you. i've heard he wants to ask you to lunch, but your beauty intimidates him and he fears rejection. so, he eats alone in his truck, parked outside your building just so he can be close to you (is that scary or flattering?).
i've also heard about your boss. the one who yells alot. his lips say '*&*$&$&#*' but his eyes say 'miss sunshine, i want you!' and he wears the comb-over just to impress you. is it working? and though you haven't gotten that raise just yet, it's because he's playing hard-to-get. he thinks that's the way to capture your heart, through withholding affection (and minimum wage). and when he stomps around, pointing his finger, with his eyes bugging out and his face turning red, it's only because the sight of you has him so excited he doesn't know how to unleash his passion. perhaps you could teach him?
miss sunshine, i hope your day is better today. perhaps you could ask the fed ex man to lunch today. he'll buy, i'm certain. and tomorrow, you could invite your boss to lunch. now, he won't buy, but maybe you'll get that raise you've been waiting for? see, you are surrounded by people who adore you, the signs are there. it's just sometimes hard for people to express their affection and attaction to you. and the next time your boss comes screaming through the office, turn around and blow him a kiss. i guarantee he'll stop with his childish tantrums and start showing you how fond he really is of you. and the next time that fed ex man drops the signature pad, don't offer to pick it up for him. let him do it and enjoy the view dear!
((((miss sunshine))))
Posted by partlycloudy on May 28, 2004, at 14:15:11
In reply to miss sunshine, posted by karen_kay on May 28, 2004, at 13:39:30
LOL! The FedEx man is a real cutie pie but we are on the most polite of terms... I tried to intice him into a ciggie break but I lit the wrong end of the cigarette because I don't smoke, and choked and he thought I stopped breathing so he came up behind and put his Strong Manly Arms under my perky b**bs, masterly performed the Heimlich Manoeuver, whereupon I turned around with a gasp and..
...puked on his FedEx issued work boots. That soured the mood and the air at the same time. Drat those Starbucks Lattes, they are dreadful coming back up through the nose.
BTW I am actually deliriously happily married to a man with poor eyesight and worse judgement of character. Poor guy, his family tried to warn him away from me, but he insisted, "It's OK, we can rebuild her! We have the technology!" He is still looking for the spare parts from Radio Shack.
It has been a really rough day so far.
My boss is a woman but mentally, she has a comb over. She was good enough, however, to bring me a box of tissues while I was bawling my eyes out to my T this morning, in the conference room. She didn't even look shocked this time (um, my third or fourth time doing this particularly career-limiting act). She actually remarked that I seemed to "bounce back" more quickly than I used to. How sweet of her to notice.
Right now the old noggin is a scooped out cantelope.
This is the end of the thread.
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