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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cass on June 4, 2004, at 21:47:57
I received this in an email, and I thought it was really clever and touching:
INSTALLING LOVE
Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though
the process?Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love
while they are running?Tech Support: What programs are running?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right
now.Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating
system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs.
Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem.
However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love
from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many
times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin
connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external
components " What should I do?Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts,
but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to
Love yourself before you can Love others.Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self;
Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-
Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone
and never comes back.Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor
and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the
proper time. So Love is installed and running.One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules
to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back
to you.Customer: Thank you, God.
You may send this to someone, but if you delete that is okay -- God's love is not based on
emails.
Posted by spoc on June 5, 2004, at 13:46:44
In reply to Enlightened tech support, posted by Cass on June 4, 2004, at 21:47:57
Hi Cass,
Hope you don't mind, but your post brought to mind an old favorite of mine: =O)
----------------------------
Dear Tech Support:Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow
down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry
applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?Signed,
DesperateDear Desperate:
First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command c:\I THOUGHT
YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as
designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 and Happy Hour 7.0. Beer 6.1 is a very
bad program that will create snoringloudly.wav files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional
software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.Good Luck,
Tech Support
Posted by antigua on June 5, 2004, at 15:00:47
In reply to Re: Boyfriend 5.0 vs. Husband 1.0, posted by spoc on June 5, 2004, at 13:46:44
Posted by Cass on June 5, 2004, at 18:17:00
In reply to Re: Boyfriend 5.0 vs. Husband 1.0, posted by spoc on June 5, 2004, at 13:46:44
That was cute, spoc!
Posted by gardenergirl on June 5, 2004, at 18:38:13
In reply to Re: Boyfriend 5.0 vs. Husband 1.0, posted by Cass on June 5, 2004, at 18:17:00
This is the end of the thread.
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