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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Scott in Vermont on June 21, 2004, at 14:27:07
Today I'm "Scott" again. No depression, no mania, just Scott. It feels good. I have an appt with my pdoc tomorrow at 8am. I have an awful lot to talk about. I really want this roller coaster to stop.
But stopping or not, today I feel better, and I'll take it.
-Scott
Posted by B2chica on June 21, 2004, at 14:38:25
In reply to Better, posted by Scott in Vermont on June 21, 2004, at 14:27:07
Just wanted to say thanks scott for posting. last week i forgot my morning trileptal and didn't think much of it till the night my mind was racing so badly i had to curl up and just cover my ears and close my eyes...man...won't make that mistake again. To top it off, i've been on a downhill slide this last week (despite the above) and i am just really glad to hear a bipolar post when things are good. It just gives me hope and reminds me that it's not always a cr@ppy day.
-So you take it and you enjoy the H#ll out of it Scott my man.
Thanks.
b2c.
>Today I'm "Scott" again. No depression, no mania, just Scott. It feels good. I have an appt with my pdoc tomorrow at 8am. I have an awful lot to talk about. I really want this roller coaster to stop.
>
> But stopping or not, today I feel better, and I'll take it.
>
> -Scott
Posted by Dinah on June 21, 2004, at 18:56:38
In reply to Better, posted by Scott in Vermont on June 21, 2004, at 14:27:07
Posted by TexasChic on June 22, 2004, at 8:31:44
In reply to Re: I'm glad to hear it. :) (nm) » Scott in Vermont, posted by Dinah on June 21, 2004, at 18:56:38
Posted by Scott in Vermont on June 22, 2004, at 12:28:17
In reply to Re: thanks Scott, posted by B2chica on June 21, 2004, at 14:38:25
Misery loves company... or at least understanding. I'm still struggling with the BPII diagnosis, I still want to believe that I'm just being ineffective with dealing with my own life issues.
I flip-flop a lot. Some days I accept it, other days I get really frustrated and deny that there is anything wrong at all. Being on Babble has helped me see my own denial, and slowly I'm starting to finally believe that I cannot excercise this away, and I cannot work harder (meaning dig a ditch or soemething, physical labor) and fix this, and I cannot ignore this and hope that it will just go away.
But it still annoys me. I know how much I have lost from this... but at the same time, I have gained a lot as well. My T was talking to me about this, and she told me that BPII is one of the very few disorders that actually have a "positive" side in that the mania can be harnessed. She told me about famous people with great accomplishments who would have been diagnosed BPII.
I don't want fame, and the only accomplishment I want is to be a good man and a good father. That's enough for me.
Anyways, thanks for letting me know you're out there, and I'll stay in touch with you. :)
-Scott
Posted by B2chica on June 22, 2004, at 13:33:45
In reply to Re: thanks Scott » B2chica, posted by Scott in Vermont on June 22, 2004, at 12:28:17
just looked over this sorry i rambled a bit.
>> Misery loves company... or at least understanding. I'm still struggling with the BPII diagnosis, I still want to believe that I'm just being ineffective with dealing with my own life issues.
Never doubt your insticts, even if their wrong they take you through a journey your mind needs. So get second and third opinions...i sure did. It took a while for me to accept this. Mostly cuz the one experience with Bipolar was my best friend in high school. She lost her fight last february. I saw my new Dx as a death sentence. So i started doing research up the wazoo and began to feel a lot more comfortable. Now at times when all the meds work i actually feel blessed to be bipolar, because i think i feel life more intensly than most.
>> I flip-flop a lot. Some days I accept it, other days I get really frustrated and deny that there is anything wrong at all. Being on Babble has helped me see my own denial, and slowly I'm starting to finally believe that I cannot excercise this away, and I cannot work harder (meaning dig a ditch or soemething, physical labor) and fix this, and I cannot ignore this and hope that it will just go away.
Sounds like you are headed in the right direction. just give yourself time. and i'll tell you , even after i got through the turmoil of accepting this diagnosis, there are the med issues and now for me this new journey of seeing a psychologist. Every stage Babble has been there. This place i believe has a large place in my getting through this new life. I reach out and others from all around are there. I love babble and honestly am afraid to think where i might be without it. I feel safe here. i feel unjudged and accepted for all i am.
>> But it still annoys me. I know how much I have lost from this... but at the same time, I have gained a lot as well. My T was talking to me about this, and she told me that BPII is one of the very few disorders that actually have a "positive" side in that the mania can be harnessed. She told me about famous people with great accomplishments who would have been diagnosed BPII.Ya, when i was reading this, it made me feel better as well. I've always had a big part in the ARTS so i loved reading about this. I will mention, if you ever have some spare time-go to your library and take a look at VanGough's journals. i think their comprised into three or four BIG books. I read through many and i kept seeing myself there...Reading things he wrote and said YES, he understands, he knew exactly how i feel! Though my heart aches for him since there was not medication like there is today, it was not understood, and he did suffer a lot.
>> I don't want fame, and the only accomplishment I want is to be a good man and a good father. That's enough for me.
Scott...what you just said has seeped into my heart. Just hearing a man say that makes me feel so good. Saying that shows what an incredible man and father you must be. How lucky your children are
b2c
Posted by Scott in Vermont on June 23, 2004, at 11:31:59
In reply to Re: thanks Scott » Scott in Vermont, posted by B2chica on June 22, 2004, at 13:33:45
Thank you for your words. I am still "searching", but the way it is boiling down is that I walk like a duck, I sound like a duck, and I act like a duck... no matter how much I want to be a goose, it looks like I'm a duck. But we'll see. Eventually the external stresses of my life will be contained, and then I will see what is left of Scott without this constant need for crisis management.
Knowing there are great and famous people with a similar disorder is a comfort, although it isn't much of one when I'm "in" the cycle. Right now I'm standing outside it totally. I feel really good today, meaning I feel "normal". Not up, not down, just Scott.
And again thank you... the children are the most important people in my life, bar none. I will do everything I can for the rest of my life to make sure they know that.
This is the end of the thread.
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