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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by iris2 on September 17, 2004, at 0:46:27
In reply to benzo request, posted by verne on September 17, 2004, at 0:14:29
> I have BPD and PTSD with alot of other stuff thrown in. Hyper-vigilant, agoraphobic, alcoholic, online-shopoholic. I don't go off my property much. I live in a self-imposed prison. Rides take me out and deliver me back.
>
> I live in Iowa (i hope to escape some day) and doctors around here are unwilling to prescribe benzos. I'm on inderal LA 60mgs per day which greatly reduces the binges but, in the end, I still have no real life.
>
> Most of today I worried over a toilet that mysteriously ran every 5 minutes. I have a few friends, from "back when" who still tolerate me, one a former plumber, who took a crack at my toilet - none solved the problem. This eats at me. I can't go out, and I can't go in.
>
> Like I said, I hardly ever go off the property, so a malfunction in the house is a whole day - or a black hole.
>
> I'm trying to get ready for my Monday's doctor appointment (md, no shrink in this county will even see me because of past BPD behavior). I would like to ask for a long-acting benzo, or any kind of benzo. I know they are uninhibiting but I don't drink when I take them so what's the harm? I might actually socialize more. But every doc I see is deadset against them.
>
> I'm trapped in Iowa. I hate this place. Can't leave until I'm out of debt. Feel like an indentured servant. Been abusing herbs not meant for human consumption lately. Morning glory seeds, blue lily and lotus from ponds in Egypt and Nepal. I've messed with poisons for an escape.
>
> My link with the outside, someone who's delivered the beer for 12 years, is terminally ill and no longer answers the phone. I think she's in the hospital or worse. I know, she's been an "enabler" but quite the shock to no longer have her. We became friends, especially recently when she needed something to do and I let her completely reorganize my house. Yesterday she drove over here to tell me she was sorry she couldn't shop for me anymore, she could barely stand. She may be gone (lung cancer since last Winter, given few weeks to live back then)
>
> I'm in alot of emotional pain. I'm so tired of begging doctors for what really works - any benzo. I haven't taken any for 9 freaking years but since I ask for them, I'm considered "drug seeking". I'm 100% VA but they won't prescribe them either. Endless load of crap AD's with anti-cholengeric effects and the rest.
>
> I need to move. Like faraway. I would rather be dead than go through this crap called life. Next thing on my "list" is to burn my Christmas tree.
>
> verne
>
>Hey Verne,
How bout posting on the "Social" board. I think you'd get more response there.
It does not look like prescribing benzo's covers most of what you've discussed here.I too had been self imposed never leaving my home for but a minute to take my dogs out for about two year. Money is a key problem since I have been unable to work. It is late and I have alot more to respond but i am afriad I am too tired to think or type anything that makes sense. I kept getting rebuked yesturday because I kept posting things on psyco-babble board that should have been on other boards. I was just too tired to even be thinking about small diffences that would make a difference.
I think you would get more response on this board. Just a thought. Most of your post had little to do with benzo's.
I am too tired to respond properly tonight.
Perhaps we will coorespond at another time:)
irene
Posted by Susan47 on September 17, 2004, at 2:36:19
In reply to Re: benzo request » verne, posted by iris2 on September 17, 2004, at 0:46:27
I don't think your post is out of line on the psycho-babble board, either. I don't know how to do that or I would, just to see if it gets kicked off, but that would be *ridiculous*. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Can I ask you a question?
Posted by iris2 on September 17, 2004, at 9:19:24
In reply to Re: benzo request, posted by Susan47 on September 17, 2004, at 2:36:19
> I don't think your post is out of line on the psycho-babble board, either. I don't know how to do that or I would, just to see if it gets kicked off, but that would be *ridiculous*. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Can I ask you a question?
Susan47,
I am sorry if I was wrong or being overly sensative to where a post is. I was rebuked a couple of times lately and redirected so I guess I am overly sensative to it and was trying to avoid having anyone else have this happen. Sorry everyone if I was out of line.
irene
Posted by Susan47 on September 17, 2004, at 9:32:14
In reply to Re: benzo request » Susan47, posted by iris2 on September 17, 2004, at 9:19:24
I mean, in my humble O, that it would be ridiculous for your post to be kicked off the psychology board as so much of it really has to do with your state of mind; I mean, I realize what you're *asking* for, what you think will help you, but your psyche would just probably benefit from all the positive support over there. That's all I'm saying. Don't feel bad, you don't need to be sorry at all. Rebuke is common around here too sometimes. Just don't take it personally, remember we all have our own world. IMO each person floats in his own universe and we all touch each other with that. :)
Posted by iris2 on September 17, 2004, at 9:57:12
In reply to Re: benzo request, posted by Susan47 on September 17, 2004, at 9:32:14
Thanks for being so understanding. I do take things quite personally but then it is a symptom of depression so I suspect I am not alone here.
Take care,
irene
Posted by partlycloudy on September 17, 2004, at 10:19:08
In reply to Re: benzo request » Susan47, posted by iris2 on September 17, 2004, at 9:57:12
It's SOOOO much worse when I'm depressed!! It's also particularly difficult in a board setting like this where we can't hear inflections or judge emotions based just on words.
Having said that, I'm no emoticon lover, as I find those little yellow faces visually distracting for this already overworked brain.
pc
Posted by verne on September 17, 2004, at 13:10:34
In reply to Welcome to the taking it personally club » iris2, posted by partlycloudy on September 17, 2004, at 10:19:08
I'm brutally hungover today. I had to be drunk to post such a revealing message last night. There's something about message boards that can be painful - lots of risk involved. It's easy to take things personally - even one misplaced word.
Thanks for your response.
Verne
This is the end of the thread.
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