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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by steelmagnolia25 on September 22, 2004, at 7:06:57
or the lack thereof. I'm going to graduate from grad school in Dec and I MUST find a job. Unfortunately, this job hunting process is crushing my ego. I don't know what hurts more - being refused an interview or interviewing and feeling like I have to "justify" my poor grades, my choice of summer jobs, etc. I went to an interview yesterday for a great job and overall it went SO well. But at one point the interviewer said to me, "so can you explain to me why you graduated at the top of your class in college and yet your grades in grad school have been so poor?" I had no way of answering this question w/o making excuses or revealing extremely private information. The thing is, he'd spoken to a few of my references so he already knew about some of the circumstances I've been battling.
So I thought, does he want me to tell him about it as if he doesn't know? Does he want to hear more, as if what I'm dealing with isn't enough? I left with the impression of the latter because after I struggled to get through the answer (mentioning along the way that I have a toddler at home) he shared his own story about how he would get up at 4:00 a.m. when he was in grad school and had a child. I felt he was saying - you could do better if you cared to like I did. My point of view is that I'm lucky to be alive and sane right now, regardless of my grades!
My nerves and my ego are so sensitive right now. I don't think I can take much more of this. But how can I get a job unless I subject myself to this cruel evaluation? Please offer any advice you have...
Posted by partlycloudy on September 22, 2004, at 15:18:29
In reply to job interviews getting me down..., posted by steelmagnolia25 on September 22, 2004, at 7:06:57
(The only reason I can give advice like this right now is I'm on a manic upswing...)
The best thing to do is to turn this around completely. You are the person interviewing the company, OK? You are la creme de la creme, and they have to meet YOUR standards for employment. Attitude and body language says more than words, especially in an interview environment.Questions about grades and your personal history... I guess I might question what bearing that would have on the position being offered. I don't lie in job interviews, but you can hold back the amount of details you give. Once I was asked about getting a reference from my last job (which I had quit from on bad terms), and I told them that they weren't likely to get a good reference from the boss because of interpersonal problems; I was able to give them more than enough references from peers and outside business associates and they were more than happy with that.
Having said all the above, I think the interview process can be very stressful. I have to psyche myself into that positive, almost agressive place in my head in order to come across as someone who knows what they do is done well.
pc
Posted by pegasus on September 22, 2004, at 15:20:05
In reply to job interviews getting me down..., posted by steelmagnolia25 on September 22, 2004, at 7:06:57
Wow, steelmagnolia, I *wish* I had some great advice. I'm afraid that I can't think of anything to offer, other than a hug. It sounds so difficult, and amazingly awful to have to answer questions like that. But, of course, I can see why some employers might ask. It's awful if that last guy that you mentioned was just curious.
Is there any way that you can spin your experience into some kind of positive thing? You know, how they say to turn weaknesses into a strengths? I don't know your particular story, but maybe something like this: "Well, I had a difficult personal crisis that arose while I was in graduate school and I considered dropping out of school. But my education was so important to me that I decided to stay with it, which created some very challenging times. Unfortunately during that time, my grades did slip, but I assure you that I am completely comfortable with all of the material covered in those courses, because I've done a and b to make sure that I'm fully competent in those areas.
Sorry if that sounds like too much. It's just what I've read in the job search books. Try to figure out what their concerns really are, and address those somehow. Another thing is that if you have disadvantages in your record, you might try volunteering to work for free for 3 months or so, before they make a decision. Then you can prove yourselve, without missing *too* much money. I have a friend who got a great job that way.
Good, good luck, and keep us updated on how it goes.
(((steelmagnolia25)))
pegasus
Posted by just plain jane on September 22, 2004, at 16:12:08
In reply to Re: job interviews getting me down..., posted by pegasus on September 22, 2004, at 15:20:05
Oh, do I ever agree with partlycloudy and pegasus!!
Even though I have had problems with authority/controllers since my late teens, I have managed to be hired for and hold numerous jobs (at least for a year or two).
The interview, as pointed out, is a two way street. If you are truly wanting to take care of yourself, interviewing should be the time to find out if the job is something you WANT in your life.
Do you want to work for this person, or this company, with their attitude(s)?
If you find their interviewing style and attitude intimidating, chances are you won't thrive in their oppressive environment. It may be okay for short term while you continue to search for a better situation, but getting caught in a job you do not thrive in is counter to everything I've learned about taking care of myself.
The job is to support you. Not destroy you. The interview is yours. Anticipate the unpleasant things they could ask and rehearse some answers that put the ball in your court.
That quote in pegasus' reply for the grades issue is fabulous!!!
just plain jane
Posted by steelmagnolia25 on September 22, 2004, at 22:07:29
In reply to Re: job interviews getting me down..., posted by pegasus on September 22, 2004, at 15:20:05
Thank you PC, pegasus, and JPJ. I truly appreciate the insight you've offered.
I guess it would help if I wasn't so very vague. The essential facts are that I was a high-performing college grad and military officer. When I began law school I was ready for a "break" and became comfortable with getting average grades and starting a family. Things were fine till about 2 years ago when my marriage began to fall apart. Then a year ago my daughter was seriously injured at her daycare and required surgery and hospitalization. I withdrew from school for a semester. Then my marriage fell apart and we separated only 2 months after the injury incident. I moved out of my house, returned to school, and endured a painful buildup to a criminal trial (against the woman who hurt my child). The past 12 months have been just about unbearable and it's taken every bit of mettle I have to endure this time. I literally feel like I'm barely surviving.
I wish that grades and status didn't matter so much right now, but that is the nature of my career field. I'm going to graduate from a great law school and employers who come here to recruit students don't want someone with "issues." It's a situation that just seems to get worse with time. None of the employers interviewing on my campus have granted me an interview; the few I've gotten have been from applications I've sent to employers I really respected. I wish I had the luxury of being picky, but that just isn't my reality now. I have a daughter to raise and I need an income. The stress about my job search is incredible.
That being said, I do think I will use the response that pegasus offered. At least it's better than what I could produce on my own. Thank you!
Posted by Doug_Saving_The_Team on October 26, 2005, at 14:59:16
In reply to Re: job interviews getting me down..., posted by steelmagnolia25 on September 22, 2004, at 22:07:29
Steelmagnolia,
hopefully you are getting alerts on replies to this post, because I would really like to hear from you. I go to a top business school and had great grades in my past schooling, but have been unable to achieve good grades ever since I went on antidepressants 4 years ago. it's very frustrating. my question is this: when you were in college, I presume you were not on AD's. Are you on AD's or any kind of med's now, or were you while in law school? I am trying to establish a connection between AD's/meds and poor school performance.
Thank you!
Doug
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