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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 13 to 37 of 58. Go back in thread:
Posted by AdaGrace on December 10, 2004, at 22:22:19
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, posted by AdaGrace on December 10, 2004, at 22:20:41
Why doesn't that stupid mouse give me a cookie once in a while.........
Posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:51
In reply to Re: Why Do I have to be the one giving the cookie?, posted by AdaGrace on December 10, 2004, at 22:22:19
Did that mouse leave you with a batch in the oven, hon?
I don't think so ...
Posted by AdaGrace on December 10, 2004, at 22:49:24
In reply to Re: Why Do I have to be the one giving the cookie?, posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:51
Yes, he did. They were delicious cookies baked with love and there they lay all hard and crumbly and noone wants to eat them anymore....
Posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 23:43:47
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 19:45:45
... so you let him chat for about an hour, though mostly he just laughs 'cause he's high as a kite. But after he gets off the phone, he lets slip that his therapist is on holiday in Rio, and you realize the little b*stard has just cost you a fortune. So you pick up the novelty Coca-Cola can decoration that gyrates to "Jingle Bell Rock" and set about squashing the punk, but he turns back into the moose, who accuses you of being a royal buzzkill and charges, leaving you to ...
Posted by AdaGrace on December 11, 2004, at 0:32:48
In reply to Right. We rejoin our story already in progress ... » Susan47, posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 23:43:47
why I started this post........
HUMOR!!!!!!
Give me humor......or give me death.....or was that liberty.....Liberty Valance?
Valance or Blind.........Curtain my friend, it's just a freakin curtain.....
Ada, wishing to God she could withdraw from the coca cola high, Grace
Posted by alesta on December 11, 2004, at 5:25:13
In reply to Right. We rejoin our story already in progress ... » Susan47, posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 23:43:47
run like hell!!! you run, flailing your arms and screaming, "Moose! Moooooose!"
the moose, being a heavy smoker, has trouble keeping up..you start to feel cocky and start devising ways to get revenge on the big brown basta%d. and so..
Posted by Atticus on December 11, 2004, at 19:41:26
In reply to this is great, man. anyway, back to our story... » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 11, 2004, at 5:25:13
... you have a sit-down with the cat, because cats are really brilliant at this sort of thing, and besides, the cat is still pretty p*ssed off that the moose chased him all over the house with that toy G.I. Joe combat rifle while the moose was in its mouse form. The cat suggests leaving a decapitated vole on the moose's pillow, but you remind him that it's been done -- he did it to you just this past summer. He then suggests puking into one of the moose's slippers, but again, you tell him that note's been played. Then he comes up with a plan so wonderfully diabolical that you thank God for inventing cats. It involves ...
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 11, 2004, at 19:59:18
In reply to Re: this is great, man. anyway, back to our story... » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 11, 2004, at 19:41:26
the cat is whispering the plan as he disappears stripe by stripe until only a smile is floating in the tree branch.....
Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 20:50:30
In reply to Re: Thank you for reminding me » Atticus, posted by AdaGrace on December 11, 2004, at 0:32:48
This belongs to all of us now, Adagrace lovey ... so play the game, like a good girl. What happened next, lovey?
Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:02:04
In reply to Re: this is great, man. anyway, back to our story..., posted by Jai Narayan on December 11, 2004, at 19:59:18
....his way towards you, is in fact, now upon you, and his tobacco-breath is overwhelming your senses, making you want to puke, but then magically, he becomes the sweet little mouse again, and you realize you missed the little bastard, in spite of the way he abused his telephone privileges ...
Posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 6:47:55
In reply to And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling, posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:02:04
...so you get an idea. in this delusional moment of affection and good will you feel toward the rodent, you decide to break out your stash of ecstasy, in the hopes that the mouse will see the light--that all this conflict between you and the mouse is really a cover-up for the undying love you have for one another. you quickly grab the protesting mouse and force a hit down his tobacco-scented, but lovely, throat, and..
Posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 7:34:20
In reply to AdaGrace, posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 20:50:30
yeah, ada, get your butt in on some of this action! you started this crazy thread..amy :)
Posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 8:43:30
In reply to Re: AdaGrace » Susan47, posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 7:34:20
Posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 10:56:06
In reply to Re: AdaGrace » Susan47, posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 7:34:20
I started it so others could post.......not feeling like adding at the moment.....
Posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 11:25:19
In reply to Re: AdaGrace » alesta, posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 10:56:06
Posted by Atticus on December 12, 2004, at 19:07:49
In reply to Re: And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling » Susan47, posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 6:47:55
... he suggests you both hit the clubs. You go to grab your shoes, but when you get back to the living room, you realize the mouse has gone missing with your wallet in tow. Now you're really, really furious at the damned rodent, so you have a sit-down with the cat to plot some kind of payback, because cats are really brilliant at this sort of thing, and besides, the cat is still pretty p*ssed off that the moose chased him all over the house with that toy G.I. Joe combat rifle while the moose was in its mouse form. The cat suggests leaving a decapitated vole on the mouse's pillow, but you remind him that it's been done -- he did it to you just this past summer. He then suggests puking into one of the mouse's slippers, but again, you tell him that note's been played. Then he comes up with a plan so wonderfully diabolical that you thank God for inventing cats. It involves ...
Posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 5:57:48
In reply to Re: And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 12, 2004, at 19:07:49
..but, wait, he once again moose-materialized. the moose is tripping hard now, so he turns on some rave dance music and hits on your wife in the living room. now you are beyond pissed. so the cat smiles mischievously and says, "i think it's time our little friend leaves..permanently." heheeheehaha. you smile wickedly, anticipating his diabolical plan. the cat says that he will attempt to distract mr. "casinova" moose, while you hit him over the head with a sledgehammer, and..
Posted by Susan47 on December 13, 2004, at 11:36:17
In reply to Re: And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 5:57:48
Posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 12:08:41
In reply to I'm out, too violent for me, ta-ta. (nm), posted by Susan47 on December 13, 2004, at 11:36:17
susan, i get the feeling i might've pissed you off. i was only kidding with my other post. dry, sarcastic humor..gets you in trouble every time. i'm sorry.
as for the violence in our story, how else are you going to get rid of the moose/mouse, as the story created by a previous writer required. *you* try and do it nonviolently..i suppose i should've slipped the moose a lethal prescription med or something..also, i thought of the sledgehammer in a cartoonish way..
anyway, i'm trying to make light here, but i really hope you're not mad. and it's your right not to participate in "violent" stories. i fully support that. :)
amy :)
Posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 12:17:56
In reply to I'm out, too violent for me, ta-ta. (nm), posted by Susan47 on December 13, 2004, at 11:36:17
maybe it is only in my head that i offended you..i'm not sure if my post was rude or not, and am trying to apologize if it was. please let me know. :) i think if we mess up here, an apology can go a long way..
amy :)
Posted by Atticus on December 13, 2004, at 16:24:42
In reply to Re: And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 5:57:48
... you get all excited by this until you realize that you don't have a sledgehammer. You try to improvise with a squeaky cat toy shaped like a herring but the results are less than spectacular. So you throw in the towel and join the conversation and discover that the moose really isn't all that bad a chap. "I've just never been the same since my best girl ran off with that bloody Crocodile Hunter from Australia." This puts things in a different light, and the cat suggests the three of you mount a commando raid on the Sydney Zoo to reunite the former lovers. So ...
Posted by Susan47 on December 13, 2004, at 19:49:26
In reply to Re: I'm out, too violent for me, ta-ta. » Susan47, posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 12:08:41
I'm too mellow for that. I can't believe I said that.
It's true, though.
Yum. And I don't tend to get upset with people, either. That's not me, at all. You can get away with a lot, I just ignore or opt out, I refuse to get upset.
And I usually find a way to understand motivations, so never worry around me. If anything I write sounds judgmental, I assure it's not, it's only my take on it. Mwah! That's a big kiss.
Posted by alesta on December 14, 2004, at 4:20:12
In reply to Amy, I never get p**d off, posted by Susan47 on December 13, 2004, at 19:49:26
thank you, suzie q! i feel much better.:-) i'm really a peace-loving person, and can make myself ill if i think i did something to offend someone. you're a sweetheart. thanx for understanding dear. mwah! back at ya!
amy :-)
Posted by alesta on December 14, 2004, at 7:25:42
In reply to Re: And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 13, 2004, at 16:24:42
...so, you gather up your collection of rifles and put on your BDUs and prepare to ambush the unwitting crocophile, as the zoo isn't far away from your beautiful australian home.
however, your wife has been in the bathroom for an hour already, toying with contouring and shading and generally having fun with her military camoflage makeup. you and the moose are getting quite restless.
"for god's sakes! hurry up!!" you scream.
"how can you talk to me like that?" she shouts back, and begins sobbing hysterically.
good grief! you think. just like a woman. now we're never going to get out of here! so then..
Posted by Atticus on December 14, 2004, at 12:38:58
In reply to Re: And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 14, 2004, at 7:25:42
... you notice the cat has a lobster bib on and is carrying a knife and fork.
"What's all this about, then?" you ask, suspecting the cat has ulterior motives for organizing this mission.
"Well, I've always heard koalas are delicious," he says.
"You're not to eat any bloody koalas!" you shout. "You disable the security system, we just nip in there, get this moose to his ex, stand watch while they talk, then hope love conquers all and she comes with us. We tranq the crocodile guy with that dart rifle if things get dodgy. No one gets hurt. That's it."
"Perhaps just a bite of wallaby ..." the cat suggests.
You're about to answer when the wife comes out of the bathroom wearing hot neon pink and suburst yellow face paint.
"Strewth!" you cry. "They'll see us coming from a kilometer away!" The moose, chewing on a cigar and wearing night-vision goggles, is going over a schematic of the zoo layout.
"We'll cut the wire here," he says, "and slip in by cutting across the croc pens."
"Oh, that's brilliant," you intone sarcastically.
"You know, I don't think they'd miss just one cockatoo," purrs the cat casually.
You shoot him a look, then everyone loads up the Range Rover and sets out, never suspecting ...
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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