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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by woolav on May 4, 2005, at 5:45:23
If anyone remembers my prev posts they now what I am talking about. But anyway, I was trying to get my husband to understand that I have bp2 and told him i would like him at some point to go with me to my doc to understand it better, I have printed out and talked to him about the illness and thought he sort of understand ( i realize how hard it is for others to understand) But, last night he had been drinking and basically told me he thought i was crazy and didnt know who i was. I felt like he was making fun of my illness. (recap on prev posts..i had a hypomania episode that i used very poor judgement and began flirting online with men and said some things that were awful) But, I think the reason this episode focused on sex so much was because I have had issues with feeling worthless about myself unless I have men saying i am attractive and want me sexually. This may be in part to the fact that i was basically raped twice as a teenager (13 and 14 yrs old) by boys that i thought were my friends. So, since then, i have felt that was my only attribute (my looks) and there was nothing else to me. (i have felt this way since then) over 20 yrs now. But anyway, my husband said he thought i was a slut for saying what i said to the men on the internet and that he wanted me to be like his friends wives...I felt like screaming that they were normal and I am not. I have an illness!!! I have always known that I should have offed myself many years ago. But, I want help and am trying to take the steps to find the right meds for bp2, but i dont think my family will ever understand and i feel like I have to go through this utterly alone. Sorry this was so long. But thanks for reading...
S
Posted by sunny10 on May 4, 2005, at 8:28:22
In reply to feelings hurt..........(long sorry), posted by woolav on May 4, 2005, at 5:45:23
men seem to always scream and yell when they are asked to process information that they don't understand.
The very fact that he was drinking sounds like he was trying to escape the enormity of what you've disclosed to him.
He needs time to process all of this. In one way, it is true that he doesn't know you. You hid a lot about your personality away from him. Can you ask him if he would like to talk to a therapist to better understand the information that you've given him? Make HIS confusion more important than your own right now. Because it is more important in that you've been the hidden you for years and years- you have familiarity with the situation that is "you"... he's only just met "you". His need is an immediate one.
Acceptance doesn't always come, but when it does, it is always preceeded by denial. He is in denial right now, and hurting badly.
If you really want to save your marriage, put both of you into individual counselling. When he has a chance to really understand what's going on with you (and you have been getting help for yourself to realize that you are more than your looks and sexuality), THEN it will be time to try couples counselling to put together what you each have learned apart.
Hmmmm. Sounds like I have a couple of calls to make myself... Back to therapy for me, too.
Thanks for asking me this question and letting me work it out for you--- I never seem to be able to do it for myself; but I've definitely outlined for you part of what I need for myself....
Thanks again!!!
-sunny10
Posted by woolav on May 4, 2005, at 10:46:45
In reply to Re: feelings hurt..........(long sorry), posted by sunny10 on May 4, 2005, at 8:28:22
Posted by sunny10 on May 4, 2005, at 14:36:22
In reply to Re: feelings hurt---Thanks Sunny :) (nm), posted by woolav on May 4, 2005, at 10:46:45
I really AM in this with you...
try reading my post to gg over on relationships...
It's after her post to my, "I know you're all sick of this subject"....kisses,
sunny10
Posted by damos on May 4, 2005, at 21:23:39
In reply to feelings hurt..........(long sorry), posted by woolav on May 4, 2005, at 5:45:23
Hey Woolav,
Can't add much to what Sunny has said. But being one I can tell you us blokes don't tend to react well to anything that is outside our comfort zone, and that we can't fix or that doesn't work exactly the way we want it to. Booze doesn't help either of course.
Just wanted you to know I'm here in the background thinking of you and feeling for you.
Posted by woolav on May 5, 2005, at 10:28:36
In reply to Re: feelings hurt..........(long sorry) » woolav, posted by damos on May 4, 2005, at 21:23:39
This is the end of the thread.
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