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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alesta on May 11, 2005, at 13:33:11
have any of you guys ever felt 'yucky' around family members?
i am wondering if i am the victim of emotional incest, and perhaps subtle physical..ugh.
maybe i should go to another site about this?
boy, i need a vacation.:)
thought i was gonna actually have a decent day..now i'm not so sure.
amy
Posted by sunny10 on May 11, 2005, at 13:48:30
In reply to icky feelings, posted by alesta on May 11, 2005, at 13:33:11
my stepfather (who just died) used to lick his lips before kissing us and then pucker up so much that he was kissing us with the wet insides of his lips....
it was always GROSS........ I trained myself to be "momentarily distracted" in order to turn my head at the last second...Then, after he died, my sister (three years older than I am) told me that he had sexually molested her.
Ever since, I have been wondering more about the WHY of the fact that I have barely any childhood memories at all....I mean, besides the emotional abuse and neglect of my mother and my stepfather's physical abuse, that is...
IS there more than that way down so deep inside that even I can't see it?
So, yeah, I can see what you mean about yucky feelings towards your family...from a couple of points of view...
Posted by alesta on May 11, 2005, at 14:44:05
In reply to Re: icky feelings, posted by sunny10 on May 11, 2005, at 13:48:30
> my stepfather (who just died) used to lick his lips before kissing us and then pucker up so much that he was kissing us with the wet insides of his lips....
oh that is SO gross!
> it was always GROSS........ I trained myself to be "momentarily distracted" in order to turn my head at the last second...
i know exactly what you mean. sorry you had that experience, sunny.
> Then, after he died, my sister (three years older than I am) told me that he had sexually molested her.i hope she was able to talk about it...
> Ever since, I have been wondering more about the WHY of the fact that I have barely any childhood memories at all....I mean, besides the emotional abuse and neglect of my mother and my stepfather's physical abuse, that is...
>
> IS there more than that way down so deep inside that even I can't see it?i don't know, sunny...i know in the past i have wondered why i didn't have more memories from childhood..maybe it's supposed to be foggy..that could be totally wrong, what i just said..:) it could also indicate the repressing of those memories, as you were indicating..
> So, yeah, I can see what you mean about yucky feelings towards your family...from a couple of points of view...i hear you. this kind of stuff happened to me a lot growing up..my stepfather would 'accidentally' touch my butt (still does) and tries to look down my shirt when he hugs me. i can't stand him. my grandmother would 'feel me up' to see if my bathing suit was still wet. i have never told anyone that. my brother also touched me. but i know he was sorry..so i am at peace with that. my mother..i don't know..it's very subtle, but like, for instance, today, she was brushing a strand of my hair with her hand and touched my chest..it just didn't feel right. maybe i'm just making something out of nothing, but i've always felt a weird vibe from her. but i try to push it away. i think she senses that i felt awkward after she did that today..i was suddenly cold and distant..and now i feel really awkward and uncomfortable with her..and i think she can sense it..which makes me feel more awkward. i do not want to piss her off. and i hate the fact that this happened *today*, just now.
i can't seem to stop telling all at this site anymore..it's like a gate opened and i am helpless to stop revealing everything. maybe i know that it's what i need to do to survive at this point. so i'm sorry to anyone who is sick of hearing all my issues. i should run out of them soon..:)
i hope others here feel like they can talk about this now openly. i never see any discussions about this.
amy:)
Posted by partlycloudy on May 11, 2005, at 15:03:09
In reply to Re: icky feelings » sunny10, posted by alesta on May 11, 2005, at 14:44:05
I had an icky uncle who always wanted us girls to sit on his lap - even as a little girl he creeped me out. We stayed well away from him. His command of the english language was very poor, so it was fairly easy to evade him. My mom told me that just last year this uncle who was 90-something by then was pressing her to have sex with him when she came to visit. Her first cousin! She told him there would be murder in the house if he didn't stop it.
He did die of orneriness and nastiness, and the whole family sighed with relief, I think.
pc
Posted by alesta on May 11, 2005, at 15:23:36
In reply to Re: icky feelings » sunny10, posted by alesta on May 11, 2005, at 14:44:05
maybe i shouldn't have posted that. i wonder if there some things that are just too personal and why. i think i might've just surpassed my comfort zone..this too shall pass i guess....
Posted by sunny10 on May 11, 2005, at 15:48:13
In reply to uneasy feeling, posted by alesta on May 11, 2005, at 15:23:36
how do you think we "get through" this stuff if it's not by talking about it??????
I think maybe that your family has some very weak boundaries when it comes to personal space, is all...
People who are "touchy-feely" (I am one of them), will sometimes accidently touch something they shouldn't- especially if you subconsciously are moving your body when you "see us coming"...
That has happened to me, personally, in the past. I went to pat someone's back and they turned "away" (which of course, reversed them)and I wound up patting their collarbone instead!
It did teach me to be a little more careful of other people's personal space...
Posted by alesta on May 11, 2005, at 16:08:51
In reply to Re: you're FINE, post away !!! » alesta, posted by sunny10 on May 11, 2005, at 15:48:13
> how do you think we "get through" this stuff if it's not by talking about it??????
thank you *so much* for saying that..:-)
> I think maybe that your family has some very weak boundaries when it comes to personal space, is all...
or a lot of perverts..i'm only half-kidding :)
> People who are "touchy-feely" (I am one of them), will sometimes accidently touch something they shouldn't- especially if you subconsciously are moving your body when you "see us coming"...
>
> That has happened to me, personally, in the past. I went to pat someone's back and they turned "away" (which of course, reversed them)and I wound up patting their collarbone instead!
>no, it wasn't like that, sunny..i was sitting still and she did that and pressed her hand into me unnecessarily..although i still could be just responding to the lack of boundaries..those definitely exist..
and i know what you're saying in your above quote, about your accidentally touching ppl. i wouldn't worry about instances like that at all. ppl intuitionally know the difference usually..instances like that have happened to me (and just about everyone) and i never thought anything of it...
thanks again. i feel better now. i was getting ready to ask bob if he'd move this thread to a less-traffic zone like relationships...maybe i still will. bob? will ya?
(he never talks to me...:))
aim
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 11, 2005, at 16:18:11
In reply to Re: you're FINE, post away !!! » sunny10, posted by alesta on May 11, 2005, at 16:08:51
If you follow the link at the bottom of the page, you'll see my redirect.
> thanks again. i feel better now. i was getting ready to ask bob if he'd move this thread to a less-traffic zone like relationships...maybe i still will. bob? will ya?
>
> (he never talks to me...:))
>
> aimHere's the link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050505/msgs/496520.htmlAfter you confirm your post, there's a message that has a hyperlink to your reply. Click on that, go to the bottom of the page, and copy the URL.
Voilą! A redirect, with a link!
Lar
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