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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 16, 2006, at 13:40:51
And this alarmed me. In the midst of a work related argument and my way of dealing with it, he mentioned that he would not be able to "handle it" if my severe depression returned. I am in remission right now and hope with all my soul that I will stay this way but how do I know for sure? I can fight the cognitive issues daily but how can I fight the chemical issues? Should they decide to return that is. (I have been medication free for a year). I am not trying to say I will relapse but what if I do? What then? He is the strongest man I know and he said he would not be able to handle it. Made me feel scared, insecure yet loved all at the same time.
I might not have made sense. Just rambling.
Sabrina
Posted by wanttobhappy on February 16, 2006, at 14:24:32
In reply to Husband has fears, posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 16, 2006, at 13:40:51
Does your husband realise how much pressure that statement puts on you?
Best of health,
Laura
Posted by James K on February 16, 2006, at 14:44:04
In reply to Husband has fears, posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 16, 2006, at 13:40:51
Those are just words. I can't stand, I wouldn't be able to handle it, things like that. We all prove those words wrong everyday.
I've told me wife "you can't break down right now, only one of us can be sick at the same time." completely insensitive and selfish, but just words. I try to prove words like that wrong with my actions. I hope and (believe) that your husband is just talking like we males tend to do and not issuing rules or ultimatums.
Maybe he can't say he is scared of it, but will do whatever it takes. Nobody votes for bad things, but it doesn't mean he didn't take his vows for real.
Hope this makes sense and is helpful in some way.
James K
Posted by Phil on February 16, 2006, at 14:48:34
In reply to Re: Husband has fears » Sabrina_0805, posted by wanttobhappy on February 16, 2006, at 14:24:32
Exactly what I was thinking. (about pressure)
To me, it's the same as saying..'As long as you're well, I'll stick around.'
If you exchange depression for cancer, would he say something like that? If your cancer comes back, I can't make any guarantees.
Posted by damos on February 16, 2006, at 14:50:47
In reply to Husband has fears, posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 16, 2006, at 13:40:51
Just a different spin.
Maybe he was meaning *he* didn't want to be the cause of it returning and that he couldn't handle it if it was something(s) he did that triggered it - because he loves you so very much and doesn't ever want you to be in that place again.
We blokes can be incredibly useless at saying what we actually mean and causing unintended hurt in the process.
Lotsa love and hugs,
Damos
Posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 16, 2006, at 15:15:58
In reply to Re: Husband has fears » Sabrina_0805, posted by James K on February 16, 2006, at 14:44:04
James, you hit the nail on the head - I think - I hope. I think he is scared - but these are not words he will utter. Ever!!
You are always, as ever, most and very helpful.
Hugs
Sabrina
Posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 16, 2006, at 15:17:10
In reply to Re: Husband has fears, posted by Phil on February 16, 2006, at 14:48:34
Interesting! I think I shall delicately pose this question to him at a less stressful time!
Thanks Phil
Sabrina
Posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 16, 2006, at 15:21:02
In reply to Re: Husband has fears » Sabrina_0805, posted by damos on February 16, 2006, at 14:50:47
Damos, a different spin indeed! I shall get back to you on this. Which means - lots to tell you!!
Are you enjoying your break? All going well?
Sabrina
Posted by Phil on February 16, 2006, at 16:00:22
In reply to Re: Husband has fears » Phil, posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 16, 2006, at 15:17:10
At the same time, I agree w/ the guys. We aren't too swift at communicating sometimes.
I was arguing with a girlfriend once when we were splitting up. I said,"YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE ME FOR ALL I'VE GOT!!"
She said,"YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING!!"
I said, "Oh, that's right." We both cracked up.
Sometimes old messages-old fears we grew up with just surface.
By the way, I still don't have anything. : )
Posted by fairywings on February 17, 2006, at 1:04:19
In reply to Husband has fears, posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 16, 2006, at 13:40:51
If he's worried about it coming back, then maybe now is the best time for couples therapy to learn about the disorder, and what role he plays if it comes back - what he should do, call, say, who to call, and a backup. Just a thoughtfw
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