Psycho-Babble Social Thread 643935

Shown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Whining, lonely.

Posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

I went to a baseball game yesterday by myself. I don't know anyone who is the least bit interested in going with me, and my husband is out of town. If I didn't use the tickets - and get the give-away action figure! - I'd never hear the end of it from my spouse.
I was really , really uncomfortable being by myself at the game. I wasn't able to relax at all and left the game in the 5th inning.

So today, I tried again. Can't say that I don't get back on to the bicycle if I fall off. Got another give-away (a pink sun visor, woo-hoo) and fell into that funk again. I cried during the singing of the (Canadian) national anthem. I cried when 2 breast cancer survivors threw out the first pitch. My knees started to shake and my throat tightened up. So I left, again, before the game ended.

I'm SO uncomfortable being at public events by myself. I feel like I stick out so horribly by being solitary. I can project all kinds of things; like I get dirty looks from women who see that I am alone; and I get sneaking looks from guys who see I really am alone. I just don't handle myself well. I get all anxious and sweaty and short of breath, until I just about run back to my car.

My husband comes home late tomorrow after being away 10 days. I was doing OK until this weekend. Now I've fallen apart completely.

 

Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies

Posted by milly on May 14, 2006, at 15:57:30

In reply to Whining, lonely., posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

Oh Clearskies that sound horrible, i'm so sorry that what could have been a pleasant experience was so awful for you. Wow and you went twice!! I don't know anything about baseball - do many women go? do many go alone? i think you are very brave to even try.
((((Clearskies))))))
milly

 

Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies

Posted by Deneb on May 14, 2006, at 16:04:06

In reply to Whining, lonely., posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

I'm sure other people don't care if you were alone or not. What matters is that *you* feel lonely. Don't worry about what others think. (((((ClearSkies))))) I wish you weren't lonely.

I wish I were there beside you ClearSkies. I've never been to a sporting event in my life. I would buy some candy or some other snack and I would share them with you. You could tell me all about the players. We would have fun together. I'll cheer with you.

Deneb*

 

Re: Whining, lonely. » milly

Posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 16:06:45

In reply to Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies, posted by milly on May 14, 2006, at 15:57:30

> don't know anything about baseball - do many women go? do many go alone? i think you are very brave to even try.
> ((((Clearskies))))))
> milly

I've never seen a woman sitting by herself at a game. ESPN, the sports network, has a cute tshirt saying something along the lines of - "yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I know the rules of the game. Yes, I am a fan," - and I'm a bonafide baseball fan. I just didn't think it would be such a lonely feeling to sit there by myself. My husband has gone to games without me, and *he* never has a problem. Maybe the beers help in that regard. I sip water.


Thanks, Milly. I really appreciate the hug.


 

Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies

Posted by gardenergirl on May 14, 2006, at 16:51:28

In reply to Whining, lonely., posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

Oh, that's such a hard thing to do. I hate eating out alone. I feel so self-conscious and lonely.

And I was just thinking about you earlier today. I realized we hadn't chatted about anything recently. And I also remembered how my mom wouldn't easily get off the phone when we were having coffee. I sort of belatedly realized that I should have turned my phone off. Sorry.

((((((Clearskies)))))))

I'm glad your hubby is coming home. I miss mine when he travels. Although sometimes a little bit of alone time is good. But 10 days stinks.

Take care,

gg

 

Re: Whining, lonely. » Deneb

Posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 17:13:00

In reply to Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies, posted by Deneb on May 14, 2006, at 16:04:06

Thanks, Deneb. I was watching the Blue Jays obliterate my present home-town team. I get all teary-eyed when I hear O, Canada (not a common event where I live) performed, even though they changed the words since I went to school.

I don't live and breathe baseball, but I appreciate the strategy, the off-and-on aspect of the game, and the enthusiasm of the crowd is infectious. I imagine it would have been so at a Roman colliseum in the day.

We have really good food at our baseball stadium. I pack my own seltzer water and healthy food, but it's great to launch into a pretzel with great gobs of mustard on it. Oh, and soft-serve ice cream is really enjoyable in a domed sports facility; it doesn't melt by the time you get back to your seat.

I bet we get to a game together someday.

Thanks again
CS

 

Re: Whining, lonely. » gardenergirl

Posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 17:13:38

In reply to Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies, posted by gardenergirl on May 14, 2006, at 16:51:28

Thanks, gg.
I think I need to buy some shoes.

 

Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies

Posted by Phillipa on May 14, 2006, at 21:59:10

In reply to Re: Whining, lonely. » gardenergirl, posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 17:13:38

Wow Clear Skies you went alone? That is very courageous. I could never do that let alone be alone while my hunband was traveling. I give you a lot of credit you are an independant woman. Love Phillipa

 

Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies

Posted by javableue on May 14, 2006, at 22:53:56

In reply to Whining, lonely., posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

I'm sorry you had such a rough time at the game. I'm sure people don't think all that much of you being alone, but I can kind of relate to the feeling. I felt deeply awkward being alone at my college orientation, of all things.

Nonetheless, the fact that you tried again today shows a lot of courage. I hope both that you are able to feel more at ease in future, and that you won't need to.

jb

 

Re: I would love to go somewhere alone » ClearSkies

Posted by Joan797 on May 15, 2006, at 7:39:29

In reply to Whining, lonely., posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

but then people would wonder why.

It's a thing I have about me.

I crave alone time.

Going out alone wouldn't bother me, except the fact that noone would even aproach me and try to have a conversation with me.

I have gone beyond normal 41 year old semi plump woman, and turned into Bessy, the beached whale with no hairstyle who couldn't pick up a biker on parole from a 20 year stink in the slammer.

 

bonjour clearskies ! » ClearSkies

Posted by alesta on May 15, 2006, at 11:05:44

In reply to Whining, lonely., posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

awwww....hugs! clearskies...don't sweat the small stuff honey...ok? there are a lot of ppl like you...for instance, i think one of the worst scenarios of psychological torture someone could possibly stage for me would be to dine alone in a restaurant...never done it ...never will...well, maybe during lunchtime...but never dinner! amazing how scared we humans can be of each other lol!

sorry...i'm a bit sleep-deprived right now..clearskies...here's a hug from me to you
(((((((((clearskies)))))))))))

everything is and will be just fine and beautiful...love ya.

love,:-)
aim

 

Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies

Posted by fairywings on May 15, 2006, at 13:58:11

In reply to Whining, lonely., posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

Sorry CS, sound really scary and lonely - like things were really closing in on you. Sorry you felt you had to go, but ya gotta give yourself a lot of credit for trying, and then trying again.

fw

 

Re: I would love to go somewhere alone » Joan797

Posted by curtm on May 15, 2006, at 23:26:55

In reply to Re: I would love to go somewhere alone » ClearSkies, posted by Joan797 on May 15, 2006, at 7:39:29

>> I would love to go somewhere alone

Can I briefly tell an experience about that?

Last year I put a trailer on the lake. It needed a little work. I drove there, about 65 miles, to work on it one day. While on the road I played a Little River Band CD. When the song Cool Change played I started crying.

That is the reason I babble so much about it (the song) beacause the first two lines go "If there's one thing in my life that's missing, It's the time I spend alone." I felt like something had opened up in me and a feeling of deliverance came over me. Now every time I need that feeling again, I listen to that song. There is something magical about it. Somehow I can just escape into the words.

Would you like to try to detach youself from everything and find somewere peaceful and quite, completely alone, and listen to the song through and through? And then maybe hold it as a keepsake to lift those heavy feelings? I will be there with you in the song, too.

curtm

 

Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies

Posted by All Done on May 16, 2006, at 1:26:19

In reply to Whining, lonely., posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

I'm sorry you had such a tough time at the games, ClearSkies. I hate being lonely.

Are things going better for you now that your husband is home? I hope so.

When you have a minute, let us know how you're doing.

Lots of hugs,
Laurie

 

They're home! » All Done

Posted by ClearSkies on May 16, 2006, at 7:59:28

In reply to Re: Whining, lonely. » ClearSkies, posted by All Done on May 16, 2006, at 1:26:19

Really, really road-weary. 23 hours of travel to get home. Amazingly, my spouse and his son were able to speak coherently and stay up for a while before conking out.

I slept better with my Snuffleupagus beside me (husband came home with a wicked cold).

And, gulp! we're going to a baseball game tonight. CWS are playing the worst team in the league (that would be us). I think I'll be wearing my sunglasses tonight.

Thanks, everyone, for all your kind words. They buoyed me up.

ClearSkies

 

Re: They're home! » ClearSkies

Posted by fairywings on May 16, 2006, at 8:12:42

In reply to They're home! » All Done, posted by ClearSkies on May 16, 2006, at 7:59:28

Hope it goes better now that you'll have them with you.
(((hugs)))
fw


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