![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PhoenixGirl on March 19, 2008, at 21:04:46
I'm 30, he's 42 and he has a girlfriend. He is so gorgeous and funny and he's a Democrat like me and really want to run my fingers through his fine blond hair!! But he's unavailable, and that seems to be the story of my life. I think about him everyday and get flushed when we're together. He's serious about his girlfriend, and I don't want to have any sort of affair with an unavailable man (been there, done that, and it was awful). I can tell by the way that he looks at me that he's physically attracted to me, but he's a good guy and wouldn't cheat. God, I just want these feelings to go away. It is so embarrassing. How can I make it stop? I feel like a foolish teenager. My heart is torn up!
Posted by Phillipa on March 19, 2008, at 22:28:16
In reply to I have a crush on a coworker, + it's killing me!, posted by PhoenixGirl on March 19, 2008, at 21:04:46
But they do feel good the crushes don't they. Like remembering the good old days to me. Phillipa
Posted by PhoenixGirl on March 20, 2008, at 0:52:01
In reply to Re: I have a crush on a coworker, + it's killing me! » PhoenixGirl, posted by Phillipa on March 19, 2008, at 22:28:16
Like I'll never find someone that I feel this passion for and who is single and who wants me too.
Posted by Kath on March 28, 2008, at 9:41:56
In reply to I have a crush on a coworker, + it's killing me!, posted by PhoenixGirl on March 19, 2008, at 21:04:46
Boy did you make a mistake asking how to "fix it" with ME anywhere within 'hearing distance'!!
I am sorry this is really distressing for you.
I'll tell you what I might do.
I have done a lot of 'inner child' work. Mostly by myself. I seem to be able to get pretty 'in touch' with my various ages of inner children!
In this case, I'd probably sit quietly & try to get in touch with my inner adolescent. I'd try to remember having crushes in school/high school etc.
I'd try to FEEL what it felt like - to remember the guys' names, what they looked like; how I felt, etc.
I'd see if I could be in my 'adult me' at the same time. Sort of like I was watching a movie only it felt more like being IN the movie - maybe like being in a dream watching but being there too.
Anyway, I'd try to talk in my mind to my 'crushed-out' teenager. (My girlfriend & I had a tremendous crush on our married Geography teacher!)
I might say, "Wow, these are really powerful feelings. They're wonderful, but they hurt so much that this amazing guy is NOT available. That sucks so much."
When I do this kind of work, the words usually just seem to come into my mind, & I end up saying what feel like the 'right words'.
I really suspect that this crush is coming from a younger place in you.
Second suggestion - I do this a lot; especially if I'm upset & don't know why: non-dominant-hand-writing. This consists on if you're right-handed, writing something 'to' your innner kid. For example: "Boy I really have this crush on XXX. What do you think of this??"
Then with your OTHER hand, let whatever comes out, be written (or printed) onto the page. Don't censor your thoughts at all if possible. It can be surprising what comes out. If you want to ask me any more about this, please feel free or you can also BAbblemail me if you want to.
Crushes can be REALLY powerful. During my first marriage I had a crush on a neighbour! Yikes. At that time I didn't know about the methods I mentioned above, so I'm pretty lucky he seemed totally unaware of my crush or I could have caused BIG trouble for both his family & mine!
I send you supportive hugs, luv, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.