![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Kath on May 28, 2008, at 21:41:03
You're in my thoughts. luv, Kath
Posted by ClearSkies on May 29, 2008, at 7:31:13
In reply to Clear Skies hope you're doing well, posted by Kath on May 28, 2008, at 21:41:03
Thanks, Kath. I've been keeping my head down and working hard on different fronts. Business, step daughter, therapy, sobriety. Still finding my voice here to be muted (by me, not by anyone or anything) and I'm trying to be OK with that. I do find that too much babbling can be a trigger for me, so I'm trying to keep myself - here's that word again, please don't ridicule me for using it - SAFE. The same with email communication; there are times when I'm just not facile enough at it and I think that I hurt myself inadvertently.
So I'm reading, but not writing much here.
Thanks for your thoughts.
CS
Posted by llurpsienoodle on May 29, 2008, at 7:58:43
In reply to Re: Clear Skies hope you're doing well, posted by ClearSkies on May 29, 2008, at 7:31:13
Clearskies,
you know we miss you dearly, but your #1 priority is to keep CS well and SAFE (nothing wrong with that word!When you're ready, we'll be here, waiting for you, because we care.
Feel free to vent about any of the issues your life is throwing at you. Sounds like a lot for a Clearskies.
love,
-Ll
Posted by ClearSkies on May 29, 2008, at 10:54:52
In reply to Re: Clear Skies hope you're doing well » ClearSkies, posted by llurpsienoodle on May 29, 2008, at 7:58:43
> Feel free to vent about any of the issues your life is throwing at you. Sounds like a lot for a Clearskies.
>
> love,
> -LlA little vent, then.
There were a few posts that were made to go poof recently, which triggered me about that whole safety issue. Because I have been ridiculed in the past for being scared about feeling safe here. And reading posts that then subsequently go poof does and doesn't make me feel safe. I feel safe because I know the civility guidelines are being enforced. I don't feel safe because I chose to read posts that are then removed, and the thoughts expressed in them are no longer on the boards. Did I really read them? Yes I did. Yes I saw some not very nice expressions there. But there is no evidence, it's all tidily wiped away, which does not make me feel safe at all. Some very not nice things said there are removed, when some equally not very nice things are left to stay in the archives, based simply on the status of the poster at the time, blocked or not. It makes me uneasy, yet I kind of knew when I opened the posts just whose words I was beginning to read. No mistaking the style of prose, oh no.Complicated.
And words on a screen. Scraps of conversations taken out of context - by me - that I then twist around to mean that someone has taken something that I have said out of context. Complicated, indeed, but complicated only by me. I should really excuse myself from such communications when I'm primed for finding fault where none exists, except in my own pointed little head. So again, I go quiet, to lick my wounds, to wait for the sores to heal over if they can.
My T isn't too keen on the internet and e-communication. She finds it isolating rather than community building. She and I can't even do phone very well. For us, it has to be face to face to be effective, and then, it can be spectacular at times.
The IRL challenges are daunting at the moment, yet I find it difficult to talk about them here as I'm feeling more vulnerable than ever. Maybe I will find a way to do it. Maybe it will take some time between the events and when I can talk about them - that distance might be what I need. I just feel prickly right now, is the best way I can describe it.
Posted by Phillipa on May 29, 2008, at 13:04:06
In reply to Re: Clear Skies hope you're doing well, posted by ClearSkies on May 29, 2008, at 10:54:52
I didn't read the messages removed they were already gone on admin? Love Phillipa. Know what you mean about phone as I do better when getting out of here. But someone is holding me back and it's not me. I should be stronger. Phillipa
Posted by ClearSkies on May 29, 2008, at 17:06:43
In reply to Re: Clear Skies hope you're doing well » ClearSkies, posted by Phillipa on May 29, 2008, at 13:04:06
> I didn't read the messages removed they were already gone on admin? Love Phillipa. Know what you mean about phone as I do better when getting out of here. But someone is holding me back and it's not me. I should be stronger. Phillipa
The really bad ones were on the Psych board, but not for long. I even replied to one of them but that also went poof. I really am not complaining about them going away - except that equally unkind posts are left to stay for virtual eternity, which is what is triggering for even more people.
It makes it confusing because there are these new posting names used, so you don't know who you are reading until (for me) it's too late. I've been sucked in to the vortex and I get that horrible pitched, empty feeling in my gut that I've somehow fallen for a trick. That I'm such a fool for reading.
But it's all gone now, Phillipa, nothing left to see but my leftover triggerish, skitterish nervousness here. And my awkwardness in trying to explain what isn't even here to see any more.
CS
Posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 20:10:21
In reply to Re: Clear Skies hope you're doing well » Phillipa, posted by ClearSkies on May 29, 2008, at 17:06:43
Hi CS - after reading all the above posts, I can understand why you're feeling like you've described. I would NEVER EVER ridicule anyone for talking about being SAFE. I applaud anyone for tuning in to their self-preservation warning lights & doing what they need to, in order to take care of themself. And I know that I would feel very upset opening a post not knowing until I started to read it, that it was written by someone whose posts I do NOT read! I'm very sorry that happened.
It sounds like you're going through a very intense & challenging time CS. My love & thoughts are with you. I think you're a very special person & I hope you can do some really nice, pampering things for yourself these days.
much love, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.