Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Weekends on August 13, 2009, at 3:45:07
hello, I have never used chat rooms and I am a bit intimidated about how things work. regardless, I am wondering if any members have found that their symptoms get worse as they age. I am able to be very successful at work, and fortunately have a 5 minute commute. Going to conference rooms and large meetings is getting harder so as long as I am in my private office I can cope well. I typically never leave my house on the weekends, or if necessary do a quick run to a 24 hour store around 4 am. I have never be one to enjoy or relax at a restaurant, never attend parties of social venues but I used to be able to do errands on weekends. weird--I know.
Posted by Phillipa on August 13, 2009, at 10:45:03
In reply to avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia, posted by Weekends on August 13, 2009, at 3:45:07
Yes I have. Are you currently on any med? Phillipa
Posted by hyperfocus on August 13, 2009, at 14:36:13
In reply to avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia, posted by Weekends on August 13, 2009, at 3:45:07
Yes it does. I have social phobia and I am much worse now than when I was a kid. Are you just agorophobic or social phobic as well?
Posted by Weekends on August 13, 2009, at 17:48:19
In reply to Re: avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia » Weekends, posted by hyperfocus on August 13, 2009, at 14:36:13
thank you for your responses. I am not exactly sure what I am other than really uncomfortable with people socially and of late panicky in stores, driving etc. Home is my sanctuary though I do go to work every day. I am on 1 mg of xanax (sp) at night to help me turn off my brain.
Things could be a lot worse and even though I don't always like the neighborhood my "brain" is in, I know I can make myself relax by being home. It is not unbearable--just very different than 10 years ago and much worse in the last 3 months. I actually hate summer--too many expectations of socializing.
Posted by Phillipa on August 13, 2009, at 20:44:38
In reply to Re: avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia, posted by Weekends on August 13, 2009, at 17:48:19
You know that's an excellent point like the Holidays? Phillipa
Posted by floatingbridge on August 14, 2009, at 1:11:26
In reply to Re: avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia, posted by Weekends on August 13, 2009, at 17:48:19
Hi Weekend,
Anything different in the past three months to heighten it? I'm sorry you have this--I have my own version, too.
fb
Posted by floatingbridge on August 14, 2009, at 1:17:16
In reply to Re: avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia » Weekends, posted by hyperfocus on August 13, 2009, at 14:36:13
Hyperfocus,
May I ask, how do you manage you social phobia? (I don't think I have agorophobia, though I am reluctant to drive out of a certain range of my town.) I've been trying really hard to work with this SP--I have a small, very social child and need to be as active as possible. O.K. too much about me--sorry to hijack your thread, Weekend.
fb
Posted by Weekends on August 14, 2009, at 4:00:25
In reply to Re: avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia » hyperfocus, posted by floatingbridge on August 14, 2009, at 1:17:16
how do I manage my social phobia? good question. I am exceptionally skilled at deflection. I had done work with several charitable boards but can no longer do that because it required cocktail parties, receptions etc. So now I use work as an excuse, or business travel ( 5% truth, 95% lie) and people usually believe me. If you do this enough, invitations stop. I also never give out my phone number ( I use my work #) because if my phone rings my heart races and I feel like someone threatened my life. So, again, my phone at home never rings. I don't have a cell phone and only have 2 family members but they live hours and hours away by car or plane. I don't have any friends in my state ( I have relocated with my career a number of times in the last 15 years) . I have built a routine to phone my elderly mom once a week and when that task is done I am very relieved. I guess I have built many walls that keeps me safe in my home. I used to like to go to an art gallery or even a store like TJMaXX to poke around on the weekend but it doesn't seem worth the trouble and I don't want anyone to talk to me--even a polite "hi how are you" makes me feel like I want to flee. I guess I should admit I have a very stressful job where I have to make decisions that effect whether we terminate an employee for misconduct etc. It is tough yet very sensitive work and I am known for doing it with great compassion and fairness. I tend to think that because of that I am completely depleted. And because of the recession I have also had to create the messages and support for enormous layoffs. I have a feeling that is contributing to wanting nothing to do with people outside of my work day. Everyone seems to have a problem, I am a good listener and I seem to attract confidences, so a "person" to me represents work.
Back to the question, how do I handle social anxiety---quite well and and yet very badly at the same time.I know I should work on changing but in this case,
I need what I don't want.
Posted by floatingbridge on August 14, 2009, at 13:04:07
In reply to Re: avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia, posted by Weekends on August 14, 2009, at 4:00:25
Hi Weekends, Thanks for responding. I can see how the last three months or even last year could really accelerate your SP. everyone is under so much stress and anxiety, waiting for the other shoe to drop. And you on the front line delivering the news!
> Everyone seems to have a problem, I am a good listener and I seem to attract confidences, so a "person" to me represents work.
Yes, I can understand this. I felt this way for many years--and sometimes still do. For myself, I figured out that I was always performing a role for people and could never be 'myself'--that elusive 'self.' Then it turns out, I didn't, don't want to share my real experience because I am terrified that I am awful. It sound like you are very high functioning (I never was.) Besides the respite you get being alone, which sounds like a legitimate source of relief and renewal for you--do you ever feel lonely? Or miss going out?
> Back to the question, how do I handle social anxiety---quite well and and yet very badly at the same time I know I should work on changing but in this case,
>
> I need what I don't want.I'm not sure I clearly understand this last part. You need the personal connection that you don't want?
Well, I'm glad you posted here, and you have probably found, if you've read the archives, many folks here have SP in varying degrees for different reasons. I think late onset social anxiety is very responsive to treatment--if that is what you feel you have and what you might want.
kind regards,
fb
Posted by SLS on August 14, 2009, at 13:22:34
In reply to Re: avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia » Weekends, posted by floatingbridge on August 14, 2009, at 13:04:07
CBT can help. It probably won't make it disappear, but it might reduce the number of triggers and the intensity of the anxiety response.
My social anxiety reached the level of social phobia early in my illness history (bipolar depression). I would be literally paralyzed in a social situation, not wanting to or unable to move a muscle. The severity of my illness has increased over the years, however, the work that I have dedicated towards getting over my fear of people in social situations has helped me immensely. I would say that CBT helped the most, however, IPT helped some also.
I don't know how much doing the sort of work that I did would help with true anxiety disorders.
- Scott
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