Psycho-Babble Substance Use Thread 437655

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Re: towards the end of april » AuntieMel

Posted by TamaraJ on March 18, 2005, at 19:57:46

In reply to Re: towards the end of april (nm) » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on March 18, 2005, at 12:59:07

AuntieMel: Our anniversary dates are close - mine is early May (May 5 to be exact). This May I will celebrate 9 years. It seems like yesterday sometimes that I picked up my desire and 1 month chips. I am so weird that I have all of my chips, including the desire chip, in a little change purse that I carry with me at all times. I don't know, it is comforting having them with me.

Lee: I, too, sometimes still get the "I am sure I can handle one drink" thoughts, even as recently as last summer. I, personally, would have to be delusional to think that I could have a drink or two and not end up back in the same drinking pattern I had been in before I stopped. It's funny, though, that when I get those thoughts, I seem to also get hit with a vivid picture of me when I was drinking, and I realize that I so much prefer the way I feel now (living sober) to the way I felt before (using).

All the best to you Lee and to you AuntieMel.
Take good care.

Tamara

 

Help

Posted by Lee05 on March 22, 2005, at 17:43:11

In reply to Re: towards the end of april » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on March 18, 2005, at 19:57:46

Hi All,

Really feel like drinking right now, so I thought I'd come and see if anyone was around. Actually, even if no one is there, I feel better just posting. Nothing in particular happening--it's just a really sunny spring day, and I'm having trouble shifting my focus from a glass of white wine out on the patio.

Doing my best to hang in--I'm going to go for a walk.

Later,

Lee

 

Re: Help - I'll do what I can » Lee05

Posted by TamaraJ on March 22, 2005, at 17:52:01

In reply to Help, posted by Lee05 on March 22, 2005, at 17:43:11

Hi Lee,

I'm here. I know all to well that nasty desire to drink that creeps on you when you least expect it. Distracting yourself is a good idea -go for a walk, call a friend, organize a kitchen cupboard or a dresser drawer, or even pick up the phone and call the AA number of talk to someone there. You don't have to go to a meeting. Someone will be happy to talk to you over the phone and help you through the urge to drink. And, try not to worry. It will pass. You are doing great Lee! And, the fact that you reached out instead of picking up is great as well. My thoughts are with you. My babblemail shows as being off on the this board (because I had changed my posting name, and this thread, which contains my old posting name, has not yet been archived), but if you find a post by me on either Social or the main board, you will see that my babblemail is on. You know you can babblemail me at any time. Don't hesitate. Hang in there Lee. You are going to be ok.

My thoughts are with you. Take good care,

Tamara

> Hi All,
>
> Really feel like drinking right now, so I thought I'd come and see if anyone was around. Actually, even if no one is there, I feel better just posting. Nothing in particular happening--it's just a really sunny spring day, and I'm having trouble shifting my focus from a glass of white wine out on the patio.
>
> Doing my best to hang in--I'm going to go for a walk.
>
> Later,
>
> Lee

 

Thank you

Posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 8:55:21

In reply to Re: Help - I'll do what I can » Lee05, posted by TamaraJ on March 22, 2005, at 17:52:01

Thanks you so much for being there yesterday Tamara. Things did get a little dicey, but I'm really glad to be able to say this morning that I'm still sober--78 days now. Really didn't think I was going to make it through that one-- on my way to the liquor store and everything. At the last minute I went into the grocery store instead, bought myself a more appropriate (non-alcoholic) spring patio drink and something really great for the bbq. Then on the way home I stopped and rented "28 Days" and a couple of other movies.

You were right, it did pass--I just got really panicked at the time because I felt totally out of control. I guess I didn't expect it this far into the game, but I'm just finding that now is when the psychological addiction really starts to play dirty.

Thanks again--I'm so glad you were there :)

Luv ya,

Lee

> Hi Lee,
>
> I'm here. I know all to well that nasty desire to drink that creeps on you when you least expect it. Distracting yourself is a good idea -go for a walk, call a friend, organize a kitchen cupboard or a dresser drawer, or even pick up the phone and call the AA number of talk to someone there. You don't have to go to a meeting. Someone will be happy to talk to you over the phone and help you through the urge to drink. And, try not to worry. It will pass. You are doing great Lee! And, the fact that you reached out instead of picking up is great as well. My thoughts are with you. My babblemail shows as being off on the this board (because I had changed my posting name, and this thread, which contains my old posting name, has not yet been archived), but if you find a post by me on either Social or the main board, you will see that my babblemail is on. You know you can babblemail me at any time. Don't hesitate. Hang in there Lee. You are going to be ok.
>
> My thoughts are with you. Take good care,
>
> Tamara
>
> > Hi All,
> >
> > Really feel like drinking right now, so I thought I'd come and see if anyone was around. Actually, even if no one is there, I feel better just posting. Nothing in particular happening--it's just a really sunny spring day, and I'm having trouble shifting my focus from a glass of white wine out on the patio.
> >
> > Doing my best to hang in--I'm going to go for a walk.
> >
> > Later,
> >
> > Lee
>
>

 

Re: You are very, very welcome :-) » Lee05

Posted by TamaraJ on March 23, 2005, at 9:08:35

In reply to Thank you, posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 8:55:21

(((Lee)))

I am so proud of you, and so pleased that you overcame the urge to drink. That is wonderful, and it just adds to the strength of your sobriety and helps to reinforce your willpower - each time you overcome the urge (IMHO anyway). Well done! I used to think of the urges as something like you would see in a a cartoon - where there is the little devil on one shoulder and the little angel on the other. Devil saying - Do it, just one won't hurt. Angel saying - No, you know that one will not be enough. It's not worth it. I am glad last night the angel won out :-) Yeah, the psychological addiction is a bugger :-( I hope you cooked up something yummy on the barbe and enjoyed a really good meal. And, 78 days - less than two weeks away from yet another milestone. Hang in there Lee, one day at a time. It gets easy - it really does.

Take good care of you.

Luv ya back,

Tamara

> Thanks you so much for being there yesterday Tamara. Things did get a little dicey, but I'm really glad to be able to say this morning that I'm still sober--78 days now. Really didn't think I was going to make it through that one-- on my way to the liquor store and everything. At the last minute I went into the grocery store instead, bought myself a more appropriate (non-alcoholic) spring patio drink and something really great for the bbq. Then on the way home I stopped and rented "28 Days" and a couple of other movies.
>
> You were right, it did pass--I just got really panicked at the time because I felt totally out of control. I guess I didn't expect it this far into the game, but I'm just finding that now is when the psychological addiction really starts to play dirty.
>
> Thanks again--I'm so glad you were there :)
>
> Luv ya,
>
> Lee
>
> > Hi Lee,
> >
> > I'm here. I know all to well that nasty desire to drink that creeps on you when you least expect it. Distracting yourself is a good idea -go for a walk, call a friend, organize a kitchen cupboard or a dresser drawer, or even pick up the phone and call the AA number of talk to someone there. You don't have to go to a meeting. Someone will be happy to talk to you over the phone and help you through the urge to drink. And, try not to worry. It will pass. You are doing great Lee! And, the fact that you reached out instead of picking up is great as well. My thoughts are with you. My babblemail shows as being off on the this board (because I had changed my posting name, and this thread, which contains my old posting name, has not yet been archived), but if you find a post by me on either Social or the main board, you will see that my babblemail is on. You know you can babblemail me at any time. Don't hesitate. Hang in there Lee. You are going to be ok.
> >
> > My thoughts are with you. Take good care,
> >
> > Tamara
> >
> > > Hi All,
> > >
> > > Really feel like drinking right now, so I thought I'd come and see if anyone was around. Actually, even if no one is there, I feel better just posting. Nothing in particular happening--it's just a really sunny spring day, and I'm having trouble shifting my focus from a glass of white wine out on the patio.
> > >
> > > Doing my best to hang in--I'm going to go for a walk.
> > >
> > > Later,
> > >
> > > Lee
> >
> >
>
>

 

Re: I'm sorry Lee

Posted by AuntieMel on March 23, 2005, at 12:11:35

In reply to Thank you, posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 8:55:21

I missed your post yesterday. I'm so glad Tamara was here for you.

Congratulations on beating back the urge. It was a surprise, I know, but you've now experienced a surprise urge and know you can get through it.

Well done, choo choo.

 

Re: I'm sorry Lee » AuntieMel

Posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 12:45:02

In reply to Re: I'm sorry Lee, posted by AuntieMel on March 23, 2005, at 12:11:35

Please don't be sorry Auntie Mel. You guys are such an awesome support network, and I appreciate you all so much.

Planning anything special for your birthday?

Lee

> I missed your post yesterday. I'm so glad Tamara was here for you.
>
> Congratulations on beating back the urge. It was a surprise, I know, but you've now experienced a surprise urge and know you can get through it.
>
> Well done, choo choo.

 

Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by AuntieMel on April 1, 2005, at 15:54:36

In reply to Re: I'm sorry Lee » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 12:45:02

Monday, right?

One more weekend to a virtual chip.

Congratulations

 

Re: Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! » AuntieMel

Posted by Lee05 on April 2, 2005, at 18:53:08

In reply to Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by AuntieMel on April 1, 2005, at 15:54:36

> Monday, right?
>
> One more weekend to a virtual chip.
>
> Congratulations

Yup, this is 90 on Monday--thanks Auntie Mel! Actually, this particular virtual chip has been the hardest earned yet. More struggles over the last 30 days than in the 60 before. But still hanging in, due in no small part to the incredible support I get from all of you.

Thanks so much everyone--have a great day!

Lee

 

90 days for Lee - Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by TamaraJ on April 4, 2005, at 9:25:34

In reply to Re: Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on April 2, 2005, at 18:53:08

Lee,

Kudos, congrats, bravo, felicitations, yahoo, . . . !!!!! You were put to the test, but you did it. 90 days, in spite of the trials and tribulations you went through during the past 30 days. Well done Lee!

Take good care of you (and your sobriety).

All the best,

Tamara

 

Re: 90 days for Lee - Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Lee05 on April 4, 2005, at 19:43:45

In reply to 90 days for Lee - Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by TamaraJ on April 4, 2005, at 9:25:34

> Lee,
>
> Kudos, congrats, bravo, felicitations, yahoo, . . . !!!!! You were put to the test, but you did it. 90 days, in spite of the trials and tribulations you went through during the past 30 days. Well done Lee!
>
> Take good care of you (and your sobriety).
>
> All the best,
>
> Tamara


Thanks Tamara--feeling pretty good tonight!

Take good care of you too,

Lee

 

Re: 90 is a huge milestone » Lee05

Posted by AuntieMel on April 5, 2005, at 13:03:39

In reply to Re: Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on April 2, 2005, at 18:53:08

I've seen lots of people lapse between 60 and 90. Most probably caused by a feeling of 'I've got this licked now' and letting down the guard.

Interesting, the time *right* before a milestone can be the hardest. Even people with lots of time get edgy when birthdays approach.

Good job.

 

Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!!

Posted by Lee05 on April 17, 2005, at 21:38:05

In reply to Re: 90 is a huge milestone » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on April 5, 2005, at 13:03:39

I don't have a specific date, but if I remember correctly, you said the latter part of April. So Happy Happy Birthday and congratulations on the past two years! Any plans to celebrate?

Lee

 

Re: Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!! » Lee05

Posted by AuntieMel on April 18, 2005, at 14:46:31

In reply to Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!!, posted by Lee05 on April 17, 2005, at 21:38:05

Good memory Lee.

It's Sunday, actually. Celebrating is a good idea, though I'm not sure I know how to party anymore.

Any ideas?

and how are you doing?

 

Re: Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!! » AuntieMel

Posted by TamaraJ on April 18, 2005, at 15:04:14

In reply to Re: Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!! » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on April 18, 2005, at 14:46:31

That's wonderful! An early congrats (more to come!!!). Two years is, IMHO, an important milestone and achievement. The "pink cloud" feelings of getting to that one year milestone have more than worn off, and sobriety is even more about something you are maintaining and living for yourself, the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships with loved ones, friends and, more importantly, yourself. At least that is the way it was for me. Anyway, you should be very proud of yourself AuntieMel. As for celebrating, why don't you just do something for yourself that you don't normally do or have time to do (massage, manicure, pedicure, if you enjoy those things and, if not, go to a movie or out for a nice dinner).

All the best to you - one day at a time,

Tamara

 

OK, officially now...HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE MEL!!! (nm)

Posted by Lee05 on April 24, 2005, at 9:10:18

In reply to Re: Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!! » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on April 18, 2005, at 15:04:14

 

Re:Thank you Lee - I don't feel a day older. (nm)

Posted by AuntieMel on April 25, 2005, at 11:36:04

In reply to OK, officially now...HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE MEL!!! (nm), posted by Lee05 on April 24, 2005, at 9:10:18

 

Happy 2nd Birthday AuntieMel! Kudos/congrats!!! (nm) » AuntieMel

Posted by TamaraJ on April 25, 2005, at 19:07:09

In reply to Re:Thank you Lee - I don't feel a day older. (nm), posted by AuntieMel on April 25, 2005, at 11:36:04

 

Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara--CONGRATULATIONS!!! (nm)

Posted by Lee05 on May 5, 2005, at 11:37:54

In reply to Happy 2nd Birthday AuntieMel! Kudos/congrats!!! (nm) » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on April 25, 2005, at 19:07:09

 

Re: Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara - Wow!!! (nm)

Posted by AuntieMel on May 5, 2005, at 17:18:48

In reply to Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara--CONGRATULATIONS!!! (nm), posted by Lee05 on May 5, 2005, at 11:37:54

 

Re: Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara - Wow!!!

Posted by TamaraJ on May 6, 2005, at 19:36:44

In reply to Re: Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara - Wow!!! (nm), posted by AuntieMel on May 5, 2005, at 17:18:48

Thank you both very much. Hasn't exactly been a year worth celebrating, but things can only get better, right? Anyway, don't want to be a downer!

Lee, hope you are doing well. You just passed 120 days, if I am remembering correctly. We need to adopt our own reward system at Babble because it is a long stretch from 3 months to 1 year. Incentives, rewards and recognition are important in the early days of sobriety. So, I say, unlike AA, we here at Babble should acknowledge and celebrate 6 and 9 months as well.

Take care.

Tamara

 

Re: rewards » TamaraJ

Posted by AuntieMel on May 9, 2005, at 10:26:48

In reply to Re: Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara - Wow!!!, posted by TamaraJ on May 6, 2005, at 19:36:44

AA does chips at 1mo, 3mo, 6mo, 1yr, 16mo, and yearly only after that, I believe.

Lee should be at 6 months on June 4. Not too long now.

 

Re: rewards » AuntieMel

Posted by TamaraJ on May 9, 2005, at 16:46:48

In reply to Re: rewards » TamaraJ, posted by AuntieMel on May 9, 2005, at 10:26:48

I had forgotten about the 6 month one (is that the gold one?). In Canada, we don't have a 16 month chip. At least there was never any mention of a chip for 16 months at any meeting I went to, either at my home group or when I attended a meeting of another group. When you hit the year mark, the next big anniversary is 5 years, then 10 years, etc. (at least to get a medallion anyway).

> AA does chips at 1mo, 3mo, 6mo, 1yr, 16mo, and yearly only after that, I believe.
>
> Lee should be at 6 months on June 4. Not too long now.

 

Little choo choo derailed

Posted by Lee05 on May 10, 2005, at 12:40:42

In reply to Re: rewards » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on May 9, 2005, at 16:46:48

I'm very upset to let you guys know that I crashed just before 120. I feel like I'm supposed to say I don't know what happened, but I know exactly what happened--I let my guard down and got cocky--and I knew what a danger zone I was in too. Anyway, I spent some time being very upset and down on myself, but vowed I would stop wallowing in it and get back on track. I'm having a little trouble getting refocused though, and am only managing to go for a few days at a time. I refuse to give up, because I know I can do it, and I won't stop trying. I absolutely will celebrate 6 months, a year, 10 years, etc...even if it's not quite according to the original timetable.

Hope you guys are all well--I'm so proud and happy for you for the birthdays you've all been celebrating.

Take care--I'll talk to y'all again soon,

Lee

PS--Tamara, re the "year not worth celebrating"...you OK?

Lee

 

Re: Little choo choo derailed » Lee05

Posted by TamaraJ on May 10, 2005, at 19:15:02

In reply to Little choo choo derailed, posted by Lee05 on May 10, 2005, at 12:40:42

(((Lee)))

That's the attitude Lee! Don't be upset and don't let a slip bring you down or cause you to beat up on yourself. It happened, and you can't go back in time to erase it. You should still be proud of the progress you made. It is a one day at a time journey.

In answer to your question, I will be fine. It has just been a year of one thing after another, but I am sure everything will be ok soon. Thanks.

You take care.

All the best of everything to you.

Tamara

> I'm very upset to let you guys know that I crashed just before 120. I feel like I'm supposed to say I don't know what happened, but I know exactly what happened--I let my guard down and got cocky--and I knew what a danger zone I was in too. Anyway, I spent some time being very upset and down on myself, but vowed I would stop wallowing in it and get back on track. I'm having a little trouble getting refocused though, and am only managing to go for a few days at a time. I refuse to give up, because I know I can do it, and I won't stop trying. I absolutely will celebrate 6 months, a year, 10 years, etc...even if it's not quite according to the original timetable.
>
> Hope you guys are all well--I'm so proud and happy for you for the birthdays you've all been celebrating.
>
> Take care--I'll talk to y'all again soon,
>
> Lee
>
> PS--Tamara, re the "year not worth celebrating"...you OK?
>
> Lee


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