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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on May 12, 2005, at 8:51:21
They have a conference this weekend for women in recovery and I wondered if any other babblers have gone through their program.
pc
Posted by rainbowbrite on May 12, 2005, at 9:13:46
In reply to Any experiences with Hazeldon?, posted by partlycloudy on May 12, 2005, at 8:51:21
I knew someone who went there. unfortunately she relapsed afterwords, but I think it was becasue she wasnt ready. she said very positive things about it though. this was years ago that I knew her and we are no longer in contact but I thought Id mention it.
Posted by partlycloudy on May 12, 2005, at 10:33:12
In reply to Re: Any experiences with Hazeldon?, posted by rainbowbrite on May 12, 2005, at 9:13:46
Thanks, Rainbowbrite. I'm going to attend the conference and take it from there. With my employment coming to an end, I want to protect myself as much as I can from wasting my newly-free time being wasted.
pc
Posted by gardenergirl on May 14, 2005, at 16:48:38
In reply to Re: Any experiences with Hazeldon? » rainbowbrite, posted by partlycloudy on May 12, 2005, at 10:33:12
And I've been sorry to hear about your recent struggles.
Hang in there,
gg
Posted by partlycloudy on May 15, 2005, at 7:52:48
In reply to Hope it goes well... » partlycloudy, posted by gardenergirl on May 14, 2005, at 16:48:38
It was a wise way for me to spend a Saturday. never mind that I cried for most of the afternoon of the conference and had strangers spontaneously coming up to hug me as a result; and that I won the prize as the attendee with the least time in sobriety (yes, I really did get a prize); the speakers were excellent, and the resources available were excellent, too.
It was a completely empowering experience. I'll post more about it after I've done some digesting.
pc
Posted by rainbowbrite on May 15, 2005, at 10:11:30
In reply to Re: Hope it goes well... » gardenergirl, posted by partlycloudy on May 15, 2005, at 7:52:48
Thats great PC, that must feel so good.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 15, 2005, at 13:52:09
In reply to Re: Hope it goes well... » gardenergirl, posted by partlycloudy on May 15, 2005, at 7:52:48
Sounds like maybe you needed those hugs. I'm so glad to hear it was a good thing.
And congrats on your prize! :)
gg
Posted by Phil on May 15, 2005, at 17:30:59
In reply to Re: Hope it goes well... » gardenergirl, posted by partlycloudy on May 15, 2005, at 7:52:48
That's great news, pc. It takes a lot of courage just to walk in the door. Congratulations.
Posted by partlycloudy on May 16, 2005, at 8:27:53
In reply to Re: Hope it goes well... » gardenergirl, posted by partlycloudy on May 15, 2005, at 7:52:48
First of all, I want to say that as draining as the day was, it was a very positive and empowering experience for me. A lot of ground was covered in 8 hours.
As I said before, I had the most dubious honour of having amassed the least amount of sobriety in the room of about 100 women. Most of the women had 5 years or more of sobriety. All were active in AA and in following the steps. The familiar cliches were repeated time and again. I never stopped flinching each time I'd hear them. Guess I have to "get over" that. I did know that going into the conference, but I'm surprised at how much the AA-speak annoyed me! I guess that's the rebel in partlycloudy (never knew I had one of those lurking).Subjects covered included the role of spirituality, the importance of listening to stories of long-term sobriety; art therapy, increasing self awareness, separating the self from the disease of alcoholism; it went on and on. Each of the speakers' messages were heartfelt and sincere. Each of them are recovering alcoholics.
During the morning I was so nervous and unsure of myself. I kind of kept my head down and wrote lots of notes. After lunch I loosened up a bit and that's when the tears started to flow. I still haven't overcome the shame and guilt I feel as a result of my inability to stay sober on my own. It's not that I don't want or seek help - I am as determined as any other sick person in wanting to get and stay well. Add to that is the first hand knowledge of how much worse my depression is after I've had a drink, and that just adds to my guilt. I know *exactly* what I'm doing when I've had a drink, how it will affect me the next day, how my head will ache for hours; yet that knowledge hasn't stopped me and kept me sober for very long. So the tears come and come and they just don't stop.
The warmth and energy from this group of women was palpable and also made me cry. Every hug, every pat on my hand or my back made me feel so very undeserving of their well wishes and love. I haven't yet learned how to separate the person I am from the disease I have - to me they are still one and the same.
I am going to attend a Women in Sobriety group meeting this evening to see how it goes. This battle is too much for me to take on by myself. But going to a meeting I'm comfortable with; finding a sponsor, and getting a healthier pattern of behaviour will help me get better.
pc
Posted by TamaraJ on May 16, 2005, at 10:15:50
In reply to How the day went, posted by partlycloudy on May 16, 2005, at 8:27:53
(((partlycloudy)))
Oh pc, I am so glad the weekend was a positive experience for you. I know it's hard, but please try to stop feeling ashamed and guilty about your previous failed attempts to stop drinking on your own. There is strengh in numbers, you know, and there is nothing wrong with taking hold of the strength others have to offer to help you get through the tough times and the uncertainty. Use the tools and resources that are out there. I've told you that I stopped once, twice, three times before I managed to stop for good. Alchol is, well, a bitch. It warps your mind and your perception and robs you of your self-control, self-respect and finally your self-esteem. For me, there is no other to describe it. Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, you are a winner because you continue to try to improve your life and conquer your addicition. It's tough to stop, there is no doubt about it. Alcohol becomes a friend - even if it is a fair-weather friend. It's been there when we are feeling down, when we are feeling up, when we are feeling complacent and bored. But, the relationship becomes one of love-hate I think. But, it is better to hate the booze, and what it has done to you, rather than yourself.
Hang in there pc. You are doing great - just GREAT!!!! (one day at a time - sorry for the AA speak).
All the best to you,
Tamara
Posted by Phil on May 16, 2005, at 11:43:24
In reply to How the day went, posted by partlycloudy on May 16, 2005, at 8:27:53
This battle is too much for me to take on by myself. But going to a meeting I'm comfortable with; finding a sponsor, and getting a healthier pattern of behaviour will help me get better.
__________Before you know it you'll be picking up your first year chip.
Before my mom passed, she left me and my brothers 18 years worth of chips! Every year we celebrated her birthday and her AA birthday. I was so very proud of her. Jeez, I've got tears in my eyes. To say I'm fond of the program is an understatement and I'm very, very proud of you, pc, for taking those first steps.
Okay...One Day at a Time. (sorry): )P
Posted by partlycloudy on May 17, 2005, at 7:01:42
In reply to How the day went, posted by partlycloudy on May 16, 2005, at 8:27:53
Last night I went to a Women For Sobriety meeting. It was an incredible experience. This just keeps getting better for me. No prejudice against dual diagnoses; many of the attendees are in therapy and on meds for psych ailments like myself. I'm safe and supported. It's truly like coming home. A totally different take on sobriety than AA, and one that I'm so much more comfortable with.
I have to believe that the time was right for this stuff to be happening for me; and that leaving work and having an IRL support system just spring up when I really need it is good fortune. Even though my anxiety was screaming for the entire evening (making me physically uncomfortable), it was a very soothing environment.
Holey moley. I just might make it this time.
pc
Posted by rainbowbrite on May 17, 2005, at 10:53:59
In reply to AND I found a meeting to go to, posted by partlycloudy on May 17, 2005, at 7:01:42
I am so happy for you partlycloudy! That sounds great and you even stuck it out with horrible anxity...thats great, its not easy to do. I hope things continue on this path. And it sounds as if they will.
((pc))
Take care
rain
Posted by TamaraJ on May 17, 2005, at 16:45:10
In reply to AND I found a meeting to go to, posted by partlycloudy on May 17, 2005, at 7:01:42
are falling into place. Holey moley and yahoo for you!!! I knew I was in the right place, and felt immediately comfortable, when I found my AA home group, and it sure made a difference.
Good luck, and all the best to you.
Tamara
Posted by Pfinstegg on May 22, 2005, at 0:08:12
In reply to Any experiences with Hazeldon?, posted by partlycloudy on May 12, 2005, at 8:51:21
My cousin had a very good experience at Hazeldon 15 years ago; she was an alcoholic, and also smoked heroin. After a month there, and an additional month at a Hazeldon half-way house in Florida, she has just done so well. But, it sounds as though you are finding what you need right in your own community. I do hope it continues to go well!
Posted by partlycloudy on May 22, 2005, at 6:05:42
In reply to Re: Any experiences with Hazeldon? » partlycloudy, posted by Pfinstegg on May 22, 2005, at 0:08:12
Thanks for the feedback. I know that when things like this happen just in time - I went to the conference and found the support group a week before leaving my job - that I must be doing something right. I was afraid I'd be isolating myself pretty quickly, and now I have a connection with the community that I've been looking for since I moved to the area over 4 years ago.
This is the end of the thread.
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