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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AMD on November 30, 2005, at 13:52:09
Folks,
I'd been doing /so/ well for the past five weeks -- no alcohol, no cocaine. But on Friday I slipped, drank and blacked out and did some cocaine.
Today I feel absolutely horrid. I woke up this morning breathing quickly, jittery, and very depressed. This has lingered now for four days. I'm worried I will not recover and that I'll feel like this forever.
I have been taking Zyprexa, but it only seems to be making things worse. I'm also on Celexa and Lamictal. I'm about to enter panic stage as I feel like I'm falling apart and don't see a light at the end of the tunnel (and other cliches).
Will I get better? Am I going to feel this scatterbrained and depressed for long? I have done this before, I know, but it's never persisted to this degree.
Help!
amd
Posted by Declan on December 1, 2005, at 1:43:45
In reply to Slipped..., posted by AMD on November 30, 2005, at 13:52:09
It sounds like the usual thing, AMD. Just like last time it feels endless, you'll never get better. It's like this everytime. Despair, depression and frustration.
You did pretty well lasting 5 weeks. That's not so bad.
I hope you had a good time. It sounds like you drank too much.
Declan
Posted by AMD on December 1, 2005, at 7:27:29
In reply to Re: Slipped..., posted by Declan on December 1, 2005, at 1:43:45
Declan,
I have never felt this bad. I know I 'cry wolf,' and seem to repeat the same complaints each time, but typically it's mostly guilt, some depression, but not enough to physically or seriously mentally disable me.
Today, however, I am having trouble even moving. I can't focus at all, my mind is wandering, and even typing this is taking an extreme amount of effort. Rather than getting better after a week, it's only getting worse.
Did I do something this time to *snap* my mind, break it into two disparate, unworking pieces. I feel like death right now. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can distract me from this hell. Not only is it depressing to read: I simply can't read, or function. I feel on the verge of a complete mental and physical collapse.
What could have caused this? I'm afraid to death I did something to hurt myself permanently this time. It'd been five weeks: why did this slip make me feel worse than ever?
I am in panic mode now.
amd
Posted by antigua on December 1, 2005, at 9:34:39
In reply to Re: Slipped... » Declan, posted by AMD on December 1, 2005, at 7:27:29
"why did this slip make me feel worse than ever?"
Maybe you should try to focus on why you slipped instead of why this slip made you feel worse than ever. Maybe this would be more helpful?
Just a thought.
antigua
Posted by AMD on December 1, 2005, at 11:36:00
In reply to Re: Slipped..., posted by antigua on December 1, 2005, at 9:34:39
I'm freaking out because I can't concentrate on anything. And I mean to a degree worse than I've ever experienced before. Contemplating any task is difficult as my mind wanders, I can't focus, and I feel disabled. This is scary!
Is this going to go away? Or does the fact it's still latent indicate permanent damage? After one night of partying, that would, frankly, suck. My organizational and logical skills are typically top-notch.
Does Zyprexa cause this, even one or two lose doses (5 m.g. each), and if so, how long will these effects last?
I'm dying over here!
amd
Posted by Declan on December 1, 2005, at 13:25:41
In reply to Re: Slipped... » Declan, posted by AMD on December 1, 2005, at 7:27:29
Hey, I never thought you cried wolf. Maybe looking back you feel much worse than you did back then. These cycles tend to intensify over time, and the body gets weaker too. But in the past you've been really distressed.
When you slip you go to town I guess; I mean your use is really excessive?
Declan
Posted by Larry Hoover on December 1, 2005, at 14:24:29
In reply to Re: Slipped... » Declan, posted by AMD on December 1, 2005, at 7:27:29
> What could have caused this? I'm afraid to death I did something to hurt myself permanently this time. It'd been five weeks: why did this slip make me feel worse than ever?
>
> I am in panic mode now.
>
> amdSome thoughts....
This is a bad time of year for feeling down. It just is, if you're in the Northern Hemisphere. Even worse if you're in a grey coastal area, like the Pacific Northwest.
Other things have been happening in the last five weeks. Other stressors. You didn't just binge. You've lived another chunk of your life.
Having done a few series of recurrent binges myself, I'd say they tended to make me feel worse, each time.
Guilt?
Lonely?
How are you sleeping?
How is your appetite?
I.e. Are you encouraging wellness in your current behaviours, post-binge, or?
Is it time for a vacation?
There is no single answer.
Hope you feel better, sooner.
Lar
Posted by spriggy on December 1, 2005, at 23:16:19
In reply to Re: Slipped... » AMD, posted by Larry Hoover on December 1, 2005, at 14:24:29
Posted by verne on December 2, 2005, at 0:02:40
In reply to Slipped..., posted by AMD on November 30, 2005, at 13:52:09
I've had some monstrous slips and hangovers during the last couple years and I know what you're talking about.
Usually I'm back on my feet in a few days and almost normal in five, but I've also had experiences like your's where I'm a little freaked out and wonder when I'll ever recover. Did I somehow do irrevocable damage to myself this time, I wonder?
One morning after a bender, I suddenly had dizziness and accompanying nausea for the first time. This lasted for days, like I was seasick, and I truly worried it would never go away. Another time, it was a burning in my right side. Yet another, my vision was blurry, not for a day, but for a week.
In every case - and there's more - the symptoms went away and the body righted itself. Sometimes the improvement was dramatic.
Zyprexia by itself can cause a lot of hangover-like symptoms. I could barely function on it myself. I imagine if I had mixed it with alcohol the ceiling might have spun for a week. Both zyprexia and alcohol really mess with the fluid level in the cells.
Dehydration can explain a lot of the hangover symptoms. Rehydrating and detoxing may take a few days and even last weeks.
So hang on and get plenty of rest. Stay hydrated and meditate if possible. Fresh air, sunshine, and exercise are all good too.
Don't lose hope. Letting go of the worry and beginning to hope will aid the body in recovery. Inner peace is the deepest form of relaxation where healing can take place.
Verne
Posted by Larry Hoover on December 14, 2005, at 13:08:18
In reply to Slipped..., posted by AMD on November 30, 2005, at 13:52:09
Dude, you didn't answer babblemail. You haven't talked about how you're doing. I'm concerned.
Lar
Posted by Sebastian on December 27, 2005, at 15:18:39
In reply to Slipped..., posted by AMD on November 30, 2005, at 13:52:09
When the coke gets out of your system you will feel better in about 3 days.
Posted by Sebastian on December 27, 2005, at 15:26:25
In reply to Re: Slipped... » AMD, posted by verne on December 2, 2005, at 0:02:40
I find that zyprexa helps with hangovers, etc.
Posted by AMD on January 26, 2006, at 7:55:00
In reply to Re: Slipped..., posted by Sebastian on December 27, 2005, at 15:26:25
Folks,
Just a quick note to say that, aside from lingering, mild mood dips, I have been feeling much better. Cognitively slow, yes. But clean. I haven't used since the post-Thanksgiving night out, and it's nearing February. With each passing day it gets easier, too. I'm starting to reengage in life, signing up for classes, prepping for law school, and trying to indulge in additional leisurely activities. Now I just need to get over this massive decline in mental function I've been experiencing (somewhat paradoxically).
Thanks for your continued support and prayers.
amd
Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 10:48:34
In reply to Update, posted by AMD on January 26, 2006, at 7:55:00
That's great! Good for you.
gg
Posted by AMD on January 26, 2006, at 15:09:35
In reply to Re: Update » AMD, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 10:48:34
Thanks gg. How are you?
amd
> That's great! Good for you.
>
> gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 20:17:29
In reply to Re: Update » gardenergirl, posted by AMD on January 26, 2006, at 15:09:35
Hi,
I'm pretty good, all things considered. It's a nice feeling.Thanks for asking.
Keep up the good work!
gg
This is the end of the thread.
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