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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on June 21, 2006, at 0:19:38
I'm using a lot a lot. More and more. And I can't find a reason to stop. I'm really scared of what I'm doing to myself.I'm sorry to alarm people. I'm alarmed. Last week my therapist discussed her option of having me committed against my will.
Posted by Poet on June 21, 2006, at 9:09:05
In reply to I can't stop using, posted by crushedout on June 21, 2006, at 0:19:38
Hi Crushedout,
Thanks for linking your post to the psych board as I don't usually look at substance abuse.
Personally I would be alarmed at being committed against my will. The idea scares me, even if it would be for my best good.
Are you willing to go inpatient voluntarily? Can you afford to? Will insurance cover it?
If you can't do a fully inpatient program, would an intensive day program work for you?
Group outpatient?
I know this is a lot to think about and your thinking is foggy now, maybe you can talk about it with your T? Explore alternatives to being involuntary? I know this is my fear of being inpatient speaking, so I am trying to put myself in your shoes and think of all options.
Please let us know what's going on.
Safe cyber hugs (((Crushedout)))
Poet
Posted by crushedout on June 21, 2006, at 17:29:09
In reply to Re: I can't stop using » crushedout, posted by Poet on June 21, 2006, at 9:09:05
Thank you so much, Poet, for your post and for your concern. It's weird: I kind of *like* the *idea* of being committed (I think it feels like my T is taking care of me) but I think I realize intellectually what an actual nightmare it would be. I also fear that it would be destructive to my relationship with my T, so I don't want that to happen, if possible.
I did talk to my T about how it felt to have her threaten to commit me. About how that felt good. How it made me feel like she cared.
But we are trying to come up with alternatives. I guess I was only mentioning the prospect of commitment to illustrate to you guys how bad things have gotten. I know she wants to avoid doing that unless she really thinks my life is at stake.
I can't bear the idea of any kind of rehab: inpatient, outpatient, whatever. Maybe I need to look into what the options are before I just dismiss it out of hand. But I do have a good deal of experience in the "recovery" area and I know what doesn't help me anymore. I feel like I need to find a way to do this my own way. We'll see if that's possible.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Thanks for the support -- I really do need it.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 21, 2006, at 22:15:05
In reply to Re: I can't stop using » Poet, posted by crushedout on June 21, 2006, at 17:29:09
Hi crushedout
nice to meet you, by the way.
I'm sorry to hear that you're hurting right now. I really identify with what you're saying about having your T involuntarily commit you. I also have the fantasy about letting someone else show me their caring and their love by taking care of me. It's a very primal thing. Wanting to feel like an infant. Powerless, at the mercy of a loving, caring adults.
Your T does care about you. But she cares about you as an adult. She is talking and trying to work through this difficult situation with you. Let her help you find your own strength to help yourself. Let her do some of the heavy lifting, in terms of thinking clearly about the pros and cons of different options for your recovery, and also the consequences of your recovery. I'm so glad that you're talking with us about this. It sounds like a heavy burden.
Stay safe- I'll be thinking of you,
-ll
Posted by muffled on June 21, 2006, at 23:25:26
In reply to Re: I can't stop using, posted by llrrrpp on June 21, 2006, at 22:15:05
Sorry crushed.
Ya its hard.
I got invol. commit when I STOPPED using!!!
Ha, they gave me good stuff there!
Anyhow, it wasn't so bad.
One time I 'escaped' and the cops were hunting for me.
I was so wacked on drugs it was hilarious.
So really, no need to fear.
Its just better if its voluntary, cuz then you can leave if you want.
Please take care.
You got a hard road ahead.
Not impossible.
But hard.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on June 21, 2006, at 23:26:10
In reply to Re: I can't stop using » llrrrpp, posted by muffled on June 21, 2006, at 23:25:26
Posted by curtm on June 22, 2006, at 22:13:26
In reply to I can't stop using, posted by crushedout on June 21, 2006, at 0:19:38
Believe that you can and you will someday when you are ready if nothing else. I do.
Posted by Declan on June 23, 2006, at 3:42:05
In reply to You don't think you can » crushedout, posted by curtm on June 22, 2006, at 22:13:26
Do you mind me asking what you are using?
Declan
Posted by crushedout on June 23, 2006, at 11:41:05
In reply to Re: You don't think you can, posted by Declan on June 23, 2006, at 3:42:05
Cocaine, marijuana, and alcohol.
This is the end of the thread.
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