Posted by Been There on July 15, 1999, at 11:11:35
In reply to Re: Racer's Set Point and Ideas on Depression, posted by PL on July 14, 1999, at 18:34:10
> I've never felt at peace.
PL, you and I must be (and must have been) neighbors because I, too, have NEVER truly
felt peace. Oh the medication and therapy have improved my life and
I have one or two friends who understand. But I would give anything
to have one moment of not looking behind any success (what's that?)
wondering who actually did it (never me) and how long before the it's
taken away. My dad was an alcoholic/perfectionist with a stressful job and who
probably was clinically depressed, yaddayaddayadda. My mom was a really intelligent
person who never was able to achieve what she could have partly because of the
battles which went on daily almost to the day he died at 63 (oh did I mention the adultery). They were so bad you could hear them
duking it out all over our neighborhood; I used to hide in the basement shaking with terror
until they took a break and decided it was time to pick on me. Although I was never physically abused
I was verbally lashed for any transgression. And of course, eventually I had to face
the neighbor kids - you can just imagine THAT scenario. There's MUCH more but you get the picture: trust no one or anything (even yourself).Annie, I envy you since you seem to have found that place where you are in
command of these feelings. I hope that PL and I can get there too, someday.
poster:Been There
thread:8705
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990628/msgs/8747.html