Posted by Ruth on August 2, 1999, at 20:52:24
In reply to Re: Success stories????, posted by Roo on August 2, 1999, at 7:03:24
I went on vacation last week and enjoyed myself. To some that might not seem like an exciting statement. But given the nightmare of the past three years it is quite remarkable to me.
For the first part of the depression I was just so deep in a shell that I had little awareness of what was going on around me. Although I can't remember it now I'm told that I was barely talking at that point. I "earned" the title of treatment resistant depression when I failed to respond to multiple (I stopped counting at 20) meds and med combos, as well at ECT. My psychopharmacologist said he was committed to my recovery and reminded me that he always had "something up his sleeve" to try if something didn't work.I borrowed his determination much of the time because I felt so hopeless. Well we continued to try different combos of meds and finally was gradually improving. 4 months we added celexa to the mix and the combo is working.
What I"m most aware of is that I am not so completely focused on myself. I'm enjoying my garden, I've started playing piano again, when I go places I can enjoy myself....I'm aware of the world and the people in it.
I realize that what I"m describing isn't a cure (as Roo said too), but it is a time when the beast is under control and my life is freer than it has been in so long. To me that is a success story (or at least a success chapter).
> Well Prozac works great for my depression with
> very few side effects except one biggie (for me
> anyway), and that's the fact that it's a real
> sexual number. I still have plenty 0 drive, I
> just feel rather anesthesized. Today I see the
> pharmocologist though, and boy am I excited!
>
> Another part of my success story--I feel like
> I've come a long way this year in accepting that
> I have a clinical depression that's not going
> away without drug treatment. That's been a bitter
> pill for me to swallow. 4 years ago when I first
> sought medical treatment for my lifelong depression,
> I thought I'd take AD's for a year or so, and then
> be "cured". It didn't work that way. I've gone
> off and on AD's many, many times only to have my
> depression return with a vengeance. It's been
> really hard to accept that I might have to take
> drugs for the rest of my life, especially when
> they affect parts of my life that are dear to my
> heart (sex). But I'm finally starting to get
> to a point of acceptance and move on. That's been
> very good, and not at all easy. Even though
> it seems like it should be easy intellectually
> (the "you'd treat it medicinally if it were
> diabetes wouldn't you?" thing--which I agree
> with) it hasn't been easy on an emotional level
> getting to a point where I don't beat myself up
> for having depression, considering myself "damaged
> goods", I "should be stronger" should be able
> to fight it by myself without drugs, and so on.
>
> ps. someone said something about the side effects
> of the SSRI's suck, but just think when it was
> just MAO's and TCA's. I think that's an excellent
> point, but I also think people shouldn't think that
> SSRI's are the end all and be all. I think that
> sometimes, because brain chemistry is such an
> individual thing, people shouldn't be so easily
> scared off from trying these other options--they
> might be BETTER than the ssri's for some folks.
> In fact, I'm thinking of trying a TCA, disipramine.
> Sometimes the TCA's don't effect sex as much as the
> SSRI's. Contrary to rumors, some people have even experienced an
> increase in sex drive on TCA's...
poster:Ruth
thread:9385
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990726/msgs/9517.html