Posted by Ellen on August 28, 1999, at 6:49:08
In reply to Thanks Ellen!, posted by thewife on August 27, 1999, at 17:13:50
> >It sounds to me like you love your husband very much which is the first most helpful response to give. Let him know this although I know at time he probably does not believe it because it sounds like he does not feel he deserves love from you or anyone, and the disease can amplify this feeling for him. From my own experience coming from someone who suffers from this illness, I too have issues such as lack of self love and confidence, although through therapy they have improved significantly. When I am down or angy the worst feeling for me is the loneliness. Sometimes my husband will just sit with me. No conversation, or if I feel like talking he will talk to me. But.... sometimes you just have to walk away. This soinds cruel but that is what my husband has to do. He is only human as are you. Living with someone with the illnes long enough you start to know there triggers, and when to be there and when not. Certainly if he is abusive seek help for both of you. Don't leave him if you feel his safety is at risk. At least don't leave the house, or leave him anywhere where you feel he can hurt himself. Hopefully the fact that you are standing with him through all this he will come to realize his self worth and that will guide him through his recovery. Remember, there is but so much you can fo for him. When he is having good day encourage him to do things that set him up to achieve, to feel positive about himself and your relationship. Your road ahead is going to be hard, just as his, so again nuture you innself. Find releases for you so that in time of need your coping skills are stronger. Don't set yourself up for failure. Don't feel that you have failed as a wife or a person. This diesease is nothing personal, it's just that, a disease. Be strong, find time to give yourself what you need and this will help you find the path to both of you need.. My thoughts are with you. Ellen
poster:Ellen
thread:1356
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990814/msgs/10734.html