Posted by Anon on September 26, 1999, at 17:10:14
In reply to talking with the devil, posted by Hell in a hand basket.... on September 13, 1999, at 21:37:12
> I have been having psychotic breaks occassionally during which the Devil
> talks to me. Yes, I am being treated for it, but have a question.
> When this happens, I know (somehow) that it is the devil but
> I can't make out what he's saying. It's as if I can't listen hard enough. If I just tried a little harder
> then I could make it out. It really gets me (even when I'm well and no that it was a psychotic break)
> that I don't know what is being said! So folks...when it happens should I try to tell what is
> being said or is it safer to ignore it and tell myself that it is an hallucination? Maybe it's important?
> No kidding...maybe it's something I need to know from my subconcious. Comments?Hello there,
It does sound like hell to be going through this sort of experience. I've been there myself a long time ago as part of a post natal psychosis. My hallucinations were visual, not auditory, but very real. I could see the grim reaper standing at the foot of my bed, and however many times I closed my eyes and screwed them up and opened them again, the 'appartition' was still standing there, about 8ft tall and horrifically frightening. At the time I thought it was real, and some sort of warning sign to me for some underlying reason. Now I believe that we have some pretty strong images conditioned into our minds through religion, culture etc. Even if we don't really believe in them, they're what haunt us in psychosis. There is, of course, the possibility that our mind does 'extend itself' into an area of the paranormal that 'normal' people don't experience. I personally don't doubt that the paranormal exists but I have chosen to believe that the hallucinations I had were a projection of the fears of my mind at the time.
It's up to you what you chose to believe about what happened to you from the standpoint of being well. If you're ever feeling paranoid, it's very hard to dismiss something like this as an external projection of the workings of your mind. It may help you to accept that when you're ill in this way, the borderline between the conscious, the sub-conscious, the unconscious (if it exists), states of being awake / asleep etc. all become blurred and mingle together. If you can accept this, you are accepting that what happened to you may not have been reality, and that even if the voice that you heard seemed very real at the time, it may not have existed. If your innermost fears within your mind were tormenting you in the form of the devils voice, do you want to hear? Within our minds, we do have some pretty powerful protection mechanisms which come into play when we come across something hard to cope with, whether what we're facing is real or not. This can manifest itself as loss of memory, denial etc. If your fears etc. are coming to you in this way, and you can't quite hear, perhaps those mechanisms are still working despite illness, and protecting you from your fears. I hope this helps, I've spent a lot of time philosophising about my own experience. If you have a therapist you can discuss this with, hopefully you will find a way of dealing with the voice you've heard that works for you.
poster:Anon
thread:11541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990914/msgs/12081.html