Posted by Bob on October 31, 1999, at 14:58:23
In reply to Re: Anti-Placebo Effect: Lengthy Lecture., posted by JohnL on October 31, 1999, at 7:38:04
Hi Kathy, I'm glad you're back to fill us in.
St. james and johnl have made some very good points, so I'll just try to be succinct to add what I can without repeating too much.
It's your life. You need to take control of making the decisions. If your pdoc has you that anxious, he's doing you more harm than good.
What you describe sounds like you're caught in a circle of the "vicious" type, but those circles can also be, well, "effervescent". They can buoy you up. *You* make a descision, *you* be decisive, and you'll know that the decision is best and you're doing yourself some good. That gives you the hope and the energy to try something else. Focus on what you can do for yourself, and keep the steps small for now. Don't try for a miracle overnight, just slow steady progress. Nothing succeeds like success.
For me, coming to accept that a good portion of my disorder was biologically based was very difficult. When I felt bad, I wanted to blame myself for it. When I felt good, I wanted to accept all the responsibility for it. I wanted to do it all alone. Accepting that my mind alone could not change the way my brain dealt out and used neurotransmitters was a big defeat at first -- I couldn't have that ultimate responsibility I thought I should have. Then, it finally sank home ... I no longer had the burden of that responsibility, either. I knew that medication couldn't "fix" me 100%, but as my therapist told me, meds give you a window on feeling different. Little did I know that I'd have about 8 different perspectives on myself in 2.5 years, but it has all pointed out for me that the right combination, when I find it, will put me at the *optimal* place to attack those psychological issues. Like JohnL said, meds can change the way you interact with the outside world dramatically. And thank God for it -- without my current cocktail, I would never have been able to challenge the BS my employer is dumping on me. As it is, not only do I have the law on my side, I've got myself on my side, and I'm just about ready to kick some tail about it. So yes, the right meds can change how you feel, and the right talk therapy can help you change the way you behave and respond.
So much for being succinct.
Time for you to take that second step, Kathy (parting with your therapist was the first) ... don't stop now, the journey's just beginning.
Bob
poster:Bob
thread:11227
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991028/msgs/14319.html