Posted by Renee N on January 8, 2000, at 1:19:03
In reply to Ren.--Never get a thing done if we were neighbors!, posted by anna on January 7, 2000, at 16:14:52
> > > > > > > I am having, perhaps have always had, difficulty with transitions of any kind. At the moment it is leaving work to go home. I am glad I can leave work, but perhaps not so looking forward to home which isn't feeling like home cuz of how filthy it is. I told myself I would do my 12 minute cleanup maximum, per Janice's model, but I don't even feel like going there.
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> > > > > > > I have difficulty with other transitions as well. Anyone else have this problem?
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> > > > > > I have add too, and yes, transitions are a problem--change is a problem, even small ones. I don't know why. Adderall helps, but not everything.
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> > > > > > what is the 12 minute cleanup? --anna
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> > > > > Man, I love you guys! It feels so good to "go" somewhere and feel like people really truly understand, can relate to, and care about your eachother and and our problems.
> > > > > People who don't have ADD or don't believe or understand the type without hyperactivity always think we are exaggerating our struggles. I wish they could follow me around for 24 hours and THEN give me their opinion. Yes, we all do stupid things, but not constantly like us. This week I locked myself out of my car at work one day and left my lunch in the car the next. I left icecream sitting on the freezer, forgot where I left my glasses, forgot to bring my ADDerall to work, can't remember if I took a pill 5 minutes ago, asked my kids,
> > > > > "who ate all the eggs?" when they were sitting on the counter where I had placed them less than 3 minutes earlier...need i go on? Sound familiar? I do believe that those of us with a leaning toward depression dwell on these problems lmore than a more secure, cheerful, self confident person might in the same situation.
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> > > > Hi, it's me again. I just remembered that I also wanted to respond to the question about transition problems and ADD. Transitions require thinking about details and planning. Do you have everything you need? What time should you leave? Did I turn off the coffee? And on and on.
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> > > Hey renee--I forget everything too!!! I even sent up a poost last month because I thought my memory was going. We do the same stuff. another thing I do--I made up my own planner--it's not pretty like the nice leather ones (I use a 3 ring notebook) but it is big and I took the best from all the systems and made it to suit me. It helsps.
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> > Anna, look around, we have answered eachother elsewhere about similar topics. We must be kindred spirits. Since I have many aquaintances, but no one around to pal around with, it's good to find someone like you. Too bad you're nodt my next-door neighbor! :)
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> > P.S. Both times I wrote posts to you I messed up by writing the subject in the name box and had to go back and fix it. I find myself wasting so much time fixing things because of my lack of attention to details and/or forgetting of all sorts. Yesterday I forgot to dial *9 before calling outside the office, forgot to put 1 before the area code, and a few other blunders before I finally got a call to go through . I ended up with a telephone tag message, ironicly to my son's doctor about his ADD!
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> Renee
> Heck, we'd be laughing so hard at all the stupid things we do we'd forget to go to work, clean--(uh, all the stuff we screw up now, anyway). I am so glad too, however, that there are people who do the dumb things I do....my friends are very put togehter, or at least don't run the washing machine without clothes, or have flooded their , bathrooms, etc regulary because they leave water running. You know, I do the same stuff with the phone, espeically given all the codes and things these days. I hardly ever get a call out on the first try. But, it's one thing I never think about
>
> At did call a couple of cleaning services today to get estimates. I figure if I book someone next week, I will be forced to pick up this weekend. Yes!
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> I admire anyone with add and kids--how do you do it? If I had a family, DFS would likely take the kids away--I'd forget to feed them, or take them for their shots or whatever. (oh, I guess they are not puppies.)
>Anna--Your post had me laughing out loud! :o
On a more serious note--When I was first married my husband said he would be afraid to have kids, because I might leave them somewhere. This wasn't said in a heated rage or a joke. He had every reason to be concerned. A few years later we did have kids. I stayed at home until the last one was in first grade, and then worked at their school. Having children forces you to take responsibility seriously out of your overwhelming love and fierce protective instincts. I HAD to get more organized, and double check everything.(A helpful hint for ADDers who are planning on having kids---Breastfeed! You never can forget to bring the baby's food/milk, you don't have any bottles to wash (Only a couple of "jugs" in the shower! Crude, aren't I? If these kind of jokes offend anyone let me know and I will stop.), their diapers are a lot less stinky than formula fed babies', you don't have to worry about refridgeration or warming of bottles,or forgetting to buy formula, and it doesn't cost a dime. It also gives you a good excuse to be near your baby all the time, if you are so inclined. Oh, yeah, it helps you to lose weight fast after delivery. If you have to, or choose to work I'm sure it's harder to breastfeed, but so wonderful for mom and baby if you can manage it.
I have forgotten to pick up my kids from activities, but only a couple of times. It is very embarrassing. Recently, I didn't forget to pick them up, but didn't get done with my shopping at a store that's open 24 hours in time to get them from another store they were shopping at that closed at 11:00 pm. hey had insisted on leraving their coats in the car, which I had forgtten. I thought I would only end up being about 5 minutes late, but it was 20 minutes. I did have a watch. There is NO EXCUSE! They had to call my husband and he got them, and then waited for me in the parking lot, so I wouldn't panic. Before I saw his car pull up next to me, and could see the store lights were off with no kids in sight... He was so kind. He held me that night as I cried. I now wonder if the AD's I take led me to poor decision making, not thinking enough about how my kids would feel if I were even one minute late. This was one of the most upsetting things I've ever done in my life.
I must tell you though, that my children are not little kids, and very smart, or I wouldn't have even let them shop alone at night. We live in a town with a very low crime rate. I was shopping for their Christmas presents, last minute and very frustrated because I thought it would be as breeze, but I couln't find any of the things on one of their lists.
Okay, back to funny stories...When my daughter was only a few months old I bought her a very frilly dress to wear to have her picture taken(If you saw what little hair she had at the time, you would know why I chose such a girly outfit!). I put it on her to see how it fit. Soon she was crying. I couldn't calm her with any of the usual methods. I finally discovered that I had not taken the pins out of the new dress before putting it on her. She wasn't bleeding, but I'm sure it was horrible for her. I felt so bad for her, but even then, I hate to admit, I could see the humour in it. She forgave me then, and has continued to do so, even today when I forgot to stop by her school on my way to work to drop off money for a special after school activity. She called me less than half an hour before I left, and I completely fogot about it all day, but didn't forget that I needed to pick her up at 5:00. Strange to rememberthat parft, but not the other.
I think we should all quit our constant apoligizing for rambling. We all do it, and I enjoy reading it from others! If you can't ramble to fellow ADDer's and/or depressed friends, who can you ramble to?!
poster:Renee N
thread:17918
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000101/msgs/18356.html