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Re: ECT again

Posted by Carolyn on February 8, 2000, at 18:49:57

In reply to Re: ECT again, posted by quilter on February 8, 2000, at 1:07:36

I had six ECT treatments five years ago. I still do not remember the month leading up to the treatment period and have spotty memories of the time I was in the hospital and the week following. However, it was helpful for my depression, which had been treatment-resistant. The depression re-occured, but perhaps would have been kept at bay had I had maintenance treatments. Instead I switched doctors...got on new medication which worked. Now I am suffering from SRI poop-out and am considering asking for ECT, as I am not in a position to stay home from work for an indefinite period and want quick relief. Will give it a few weeks longer. It is very scary to think of going through all this again...not the treatments so much as the awfulness of the depression leading up to such a drastic measure. My self esteem is very low. I do not talk at work. I cry only occasionally. I think about harming myself, but have a 15 year old to think about. I have times of knowing that how I feel and think about myself and act towards others (or fail to act) is due to depression, and other times when I think I'm just incredibly selfish and making all of this up in my head...that I really am a terrible person. Do others have this "back and forth" feeling? Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind.


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poster:Carolyn thread:20450
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