Posted by bob on March 6, 2000, at 19:30:03
In reply to Re: Mental alertness, posted by Chase on March 6, 2000, at 5:23:18
Chase, what you're describing to me sounds almost like some sort of distortion of sensory data more than mental alertness. I dunno -- I guess I've experienced being "disconnected" in a number of different ways in the past few years. On higher doses of SSRIs, it's been that foggy, wicked-bad-stuffed-up-head-cold sensation (minus the stuffed nose). Paxil was like being in Limbo -- the only emotion I had was a craving to have other emotions; to laugh, to cry, anything. My emotions were so plugged up it was like I was struck speechless ... nothing would come out, no matter how hard I tried or how bad I wanted it. I can't remember who (please step forward, if you're still here in Babbleland), but someone's doc calls this "emotional constipation."
(Hmmm ... has anyone tried Ex-lax, Senokot, or Metamucil for this? No thanks, I'm not going to volunteer....)
In terms of ADs making depression worse, I now know one reason why. I had some intellectual awareness of how my depression had partially frozen my connection to the world, but I was completely numb emotionally to it. I knew I should be upset about certain things, certain ways my life was or was not going ... I just did not, could not, care. After a little over a year on nortriptyline, a big part of that part of me finally came in from the cold.
Ever have frostbite, or close to it? Ever have that feeling of the blood returning to areas it hasn't been for minutes, hours, years? If you haven't, let me tell you -- it hurts like hell! December, January, and most of February were some of the most painful months of my entire life. Fortunately, I had just enough, hardly a shred, of perspective to recognize I was feeling things I haven't felt for years ... or may have never felt. If I had gotten lost in that pain, I wouldn't have been able to see how much better or how healthy I had to be before I could hurt that bad.
I guess my point is that noticing a disconnect -- in some cases; certainly not all -- may be a step forward and not a step back. It's something you need to ask yourself.
hang in there,
bob
poster:bob
thread:26055
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000302/msgs/26158.html