Posted by Cynthia on March 14, 2000, at 11:54:03
Ok> Forgive me if this sounds like rambling but I am trying to make sense of all of this. I am , for the first time since my diagnosis (rapid cycling bipolar I) a year and a half ago, questioning my need for medications. I have had these questions in my head and I asked them of my Psychologist and she asks questions back at me. If we control the bipolar part of me with medication-am I losing part of who I have been for the past 36 years? Does control of moods equal control of personality? And does control of moods equal control of intellect? What should I be expecting from these medications as far as symptom control? (I kow this is not supposed to be a cure) Do I get concerned over 1 or 2 manic episodes? What is normal? How do I keep from paying too much attention to how I feel? I feel like this "disorder" is taking over my life!I go to the Psycologist , I go to group, I go to the Psychiatrist, I do what I am "supposed "to be doing. Yet, I spend every night in the malestrom of rapid thought processing and just before dawn find sleep only to be awakend to start the day . I am sorry , I am sure that you are all aware of the patterns of which I speak. Then there is the dramatically decreased libido. I am just not sure that I am doing the right thing in taking these drugs and feeling that I am losing a part of who I am in the process. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
poster:Cynthia
thread:26981
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000312/msgs/26981.html