Posted by michael on March 18, 2000, at 13:36:53
In reply to Curiously detached, posted by JanetR on March 18, 2000, at 0:49:30
> I have actually found a psychopharmacologist and I have made an appt. to see him. Perhaps Brazil isn't as 3rd worldish after all. I'm compiling a list of all the ways in which my behaviour deviates from the normal and one of the things I've noticed is that I have a curious lack of attachmment to people, places or things. I have moved many times in my life and I have always been able to do so without the slightest feeling of regret or loss. I've made quite a few close friends but I've always been able to move on . In fact I prefer moving on to staying put. My husband and I built this rather beautiful house but when money became tight I sold it without a qualm. I've never had a proprietary feeling about anything even my children whom I love dearly. I've always regarded this detachment of mine as a positive Budha-like quality (all things will pass). But now I'm beginning to wonder if this inability to make an emotional investment is a protective mechanism from possible loss, hurt etc. Does anyone else behave in a similar way? Am I really living on a higher plane or am I sicker than I thought I was? Jan
Janet -You may be onto something... But it could also be that from experience, you've learned to look forward, rather than backward? If it's something that you've experienced often, you may just have a different perspective than most people, who aren't as mobile, and who are more fearful of "change", than excited about a new adventure?
I can identify with you to some extent. For me, it can be a drag to leave friends, etc. behind - but there is also the adventure in something new... new frineds to make, new sights to see, etc. Whenever I move, I know that I'm more outgoing and curious, checking out everything that's new to me, meeting new people and making new friends. And when I look back, I can also see that I get into a rut after a while. I don't go to new places or try new things as much, or make an effort to meet new people - because I did that when I first arrived - now I know the places I enjoy going to, the local bands I enjoy going to see, and I’ve already developed a bunch of good friends, etc. Of course, I enjoy going back to visit, or calling, to reminisce, etc.
At the same time, I knew someone who’s father worked a few years at a time in different embassys around the world. And in addition to what I mentioned above, she also had learned to cut ties and move on - without looking back. Not leaving on bad terms, but perhaps not having opened up quite as much, bonded quite as tightly, and not developing as strong an attachment to any particular place – since nowhere was really “home”. In her circumstances, I think she had actually learned to avoid strong an attachents (with the exception of a few close friends who had grown up with the same lifestyle, and who had therefore --and would in the future -- cross paths with her every now and then) I think that in her case, the lack of attachment was a coping or defense mechanism, since nothing was really permanent...
Just some ideas... only you can tell if any of them might be relevant to you.
poster:michael
thread:27425
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000312/msgs/27481.html