Posted by KarenB on March 28, 2000, at 21:49:13
Dear Sarah, Carol Ann and everyone else,
After being treated haphazardly for depression most of my adult life, with every SSRI imaginable to no avail, I was diagnosed Bipolar II almost two years ago. I was living in the Philippines and ended up on Amineptine (anti-depressant of the mood-brightening, psycho-stimulant variety, not available in the US) and an antipsychotic, Sulpiride, for my physical symptoms of apathy and fatigue. Well, the combination worked and I was sane, focused and happy for the last 1 1/2 years, until my return to the US and discontinuation of Amineptine by the manufacturer.
I am now going through the grueling, hideous task of finding new meds. Lithium made me unbearably nauseous. Serzone made me weird, socially inhibited, on the verge of tears and too sleepy and apathetic to go on with life. I am now on Nortriptyline and just feel a little revved up and anxious - but not good. I am, at this moment, really hurting and frustrated - BUT... I am reading with greater and greater interest, your posts on ADD.
What I am getting at is that I believe I may have been wrongly diagnosed with Bipolar II, as my only episodes of mania consist of extreme irritability, irrational outbursts of anger and saying inappropriate or mildly shocking things. My depression consists of not having enough energy to be alive and moving, being unable to focus and being ineffective and scattered. The frustration of this condition has made me on several occasions in my life, suicidal. Or, shall I say, entertaining suicidal ideology on a regular basis.
I feel like I am rambling here but what I want to know, especially from you, Sarah and Carol Ann is this: What symptoms did you have that shifted you from a Bipolar diagnosis, to ADD? Can you elaborate on that a little for me?
I find it interesting that the only antidepressant that has ever worked for me is described as a "psychostimulant," possibly the reason it is not accepted in the US, as it reportedly has "potential for abuse." Well, I never abused it or ever had the desire to. I simply made me feel focused and NORMAL, for the first time in my life. I am 39.
Could it be that I am ADD? I know that I am not hyperactive but from what I have read, that is not a requirement. Looking back to my days in school, I can see that with an I.Q. of 150, I only did moderately well in school, almost failing Algebra, because I couldn't stay focused on the problems and formulas. I remember struggling with that. And, the fact that I can write music even now from what I am "hearing" in my mind but could never learn to read music - same reason - inability to stay focused on the task. I could go on and on but...
I'm kind of excited - does this mean I may be able to get well?
Tell me what you think about this. I'm eagerly looking forward to your input.
Karen in Denver, CO
poster:KarenB
thread:28357
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000321/msgs/28357.html