Posted by NikkiT on April 5, 2000, at 8:59:14
In reply to I think i am going to kill my self...., posted by tori hart on April 4, 2000, at 18:53:49
Over the past couple fo months, I have / was feeling increasingly suicidal.. THEN, 5 weeks ago, a friend was found dead, from an over dose of various tablets and alcohol. He had left a note explaining all, but the coroner took this away before anyone ahd a chance to read it. I saw what it did to everyone that knew him - I didn't know him particularly well (I'm a friend of his boyfriends) but was so shocked and hurt, and also, I saw what it did to Andy, his boyfriend. Andy blames himself 100%, and it was 4 weeks before the coroner released the suicide note and Andy was able to ahve some idea what happened. There were a number of reasons why, but mostly, it was stuff that could have been, if not solved, but dealt with if only he'd told Andy.
For a very large number of people, their light has been snuffed out by this suicide, and a number of people are now left with the guilt.
As much as I see no point, and think no one would care, I've seen what this has done to people, and hope that if I ever sink as low enough to SERIOUSLY consider it,(rather than my usual apathetic "why do I bother carrying on" routine) I would tell someone, who can remind me of this time.
I;m sure all out thoughts are with you at the moment though... ((((((hugs))))))
Nikki xx
poster:NikkiT
thread:28877
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000401/msgs/28933.html