Posted by Cindy W on April 22, 2000, at 21:05:18
In reply to Re: what is Self Esteem? / Janice, posted by Noa on April 22, 2000, at 14:31:34
> >maybe low self esteem is lack of hope in myself ("I suck").
>
> This is sort of tangential, but I saw the movie, Keeping the Faith, last night, and there is a nice scene in it in which Ben Stiller's character, the Rabbi, is working with a Bar Mitzvah boy who is having the hardest time mastering his Torah reading. His voice is changing and when he tries to sing the words, it is just excruciating. The kid says, "I suck." First, the Rabbi takes the smooth-over, superficially protect the self-esteem approach, and says, "you do not suck". The kid leans forward and with assertive conviction, repeats, "I suck". The Rabbi concedes, "OK, yes, you do suck", but goes on to explain how sucking can be embraced. I wish I can remember all of the elements of his speech at this point, but it was great. It was about how the kid could acknowledge he sucked at this, and accept that his voice change makes him sound awful, and take on the challenge of doing his responsibilities for this rite of passage despite these obstacles. It was funny and thoughtful at the same time. I am sure it sounds very trite in my retelling, but I think the scene was well done.Having read the posts above, I can really relate. For me, I think, what it takes for self-esteem is first through therapy realizing that if the therapist can accept me, with all my "sucky" qualities, I must be OK. Am in my second real therapy, I think (having forgotten from the first time that there is nothing wrong with the way I am or how I feel). Why do I keep forgetting that 'I suck' is OK?
poster:Cindy W
thread:30698
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000420/msgs/31005.html