Posted by Brenda on April 23, 2000, at 11:22:44
In reply to shouldnt have posted that - , posted by Deb R on April 23, 2000, at 8:29:53
> > >And, I have NEVER heard anyone say that their parent committed suicide and they had "gotten over it," that they had dealt with the pain and it just didn't hurt anymore. I love them too much to leave them with that.
> >
> > I still have vivid memories of my Mum's attempt at suicide when I was 11 - we found her in the garden with her wrists slashed. This is an image which has always remained with me.
>
> I shouldn't have posted the above, my Mum would be mortified to think I had spoken outside the family about it. Secrets and guilt weigh heavy in our family and I'm just so sick of it all. I shouldn't have said anything, I know we are all virtual strangers but its a big thing for me to do this. I truly think I am way overdue in going to speak to someone about these horrible memories. Since posting the previous post all of 5 minutes ago I have a head full of stuff that I feel will burst out and I wont be able to stop it.Dear Deb, Bless your heart. It is soooo hard to release ourselves from the rules of our childhood. Your mom's suicide attempt not only affected her, but most likely affected you more. You have every right to talk about what that did to you. My god - you were only 11 years-old at the time. If there was no one to talk to about it then, there sure is now. The "stigma" (for lack of a better word) of your mom's attempt isn't about you in any way. You were just a kid. There's no way an 11 year-old can bear the responsibility of that.
Your heart is in the right place in wanting to look out for/love your mom, BUT your peace of mind comes first. Now and always. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Brenda
poster:Brenda
thread:30376
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000420/msgs/31066.html