Posted by afatchic on May 8, 2000, at 1:10:24
In reply to Pdoc gone bad?, posted by Cass on May 8, 2000, at 0:37:15
> I remember a PDOC that I used to walk by frequently in the clinic I worked at. Initially I would nod and smile at him when I walked by but he the looks he gave me in return were definitely not friendly. I remenber thinking "there's something wrong with this guy". A couple years later I read about him in the local paper. He was charged with abducting and murdering the young daughter of a colleague. They speculated that he was seeking revenge for a work related conflict. The theory was, that as a PDOC, he knew best how to hurt someone. You have to consider what motivates a person's career choice. Not all choices are based on altruistic goals.
> I once a had pdoc for med evaluations. I saw him for a couple years. He seemed like a caring person, although somehow I sensed that he lived on the edge. One time I even thought he might be high. He was disheveled and seemed sort of out of it. About a year after discontinuing treatment with him, I read in the paper that he had drugged and raped a male patient. He got a long jail sentence, longer than it would have otherwise been because he tried to evade sentencing. He lost his license to practice. I think by now he is probably out of jail which is somehow a relief to me. Over the years, I was plagued with pity for him. It was genuinely painful to me. When I was in treatment with him, he used to mention his neck problem and how it didn't bother him while he was driving because he had an adjustable neck and back rest in his Mercedes. At the time I felt he was bragging. But after he went to jail, I kept on thinking about his neck problem and that he probably had to get rid of the Mercedes and that he would probably never be in that kind of income bracket again. He really didn't seem like a malicious person, although I do not condone what he did. The way I felt toward him is similar to the way I feel about my parents although they were both highly malicious at times. I think I might have projected onto him. He was driven by impulses he could not or would not control. He was dwarfed by some overwhelming desire that caused him to ignore his ethics and his true self. I am still sort of conflicted about my feelings toward him. When I feel sorry for him, I feel that I am being insensitive to the victim. In the case of my parents, one of the victims is me. Maybe I didn't have enough sympathy for my pdocs victim, and maybe I have never really had enough sympathy for myself.
> Well, this is a case of true babbling. The thread above about the ex-pdoc dying is what got me thinking of all this. Any thoughts?
poster:afatchic
thread:32726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000429/msgs/32731.html