Posted by Greg on May 15, 2000, at 7:54:21
In reply to MoMMY DEARTEST, posted by kellyR. on May 14, 2000, at 21:19:45
Kelly,
Your post really hit home with me. I too had a Mom who was an alcoholic (she passed away 7 years ago) and was verbally abusive to me. I never forgave her for what she put me thru. To be honest, I don't very often ever think of her on Mother's Day. It wasn't until the last year of her life that I took her Grandson to meet her, I didn't want to expose him to her. She did stop drinking during that final year but never attended AA. Being a recovering alcoholic myself, I was finally able to understand the living hell she went thru on a daily basis. I don't see this as an excuse for what she did, only an understanding of the disease. If your Mom is working a good program, there will come a day when she will need to "make amends" to the people she has hurt, and you will be on that list. Some of us never reach that point, so don't get your hopes up too high.I agree whole-heartedly with the others that the fact that you have taken this first step with your Mom shows the incredible growth you're showing and the monumental steps you're taking toward becoming a happy and healthly person. Even if the only thing that comes of it is a tolerance between the two of you, know in your heart that you did the right thing. Forgiveness is much easier to spell than it is to give.
Hugs,
Greg>
> We I like to start off by saying happy mothers day to everyone,I've wrote on occasion about my mom & how she would abuse me,She had a drinking problem that would bring out the devil in her,she even tried to choke me.She never had anything nice to say about me.She even yelled at me for not crying when she told me about my father killing himself.
> Well I never forgave her for all the shit she put me through,til this month I sent her a mothers day card for the frist time in my life,It was so hard to pick a card out,tring to find a card that said you put me through hell but happy mothers day,well after a long time i found a card that said "we been through some hard times but now is the time for forgiving" I forgot the rest but it sounded good.I don't think well ever be close,she still has alote of problems to deal w/ but i can say she hasn't had any drugs or a drink since she been in AA.(10yrs) THANK GOD
poster:Greg
thread:33448
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/33465.html