Posted by claire 7 on May 27, 2000, at 17:23:19
In reply to Re: Thanks for the reminder, Kathie..., posted by CarolAnn on May 27, 2000, at 13:17:12
> I swore off boBB's posts awhile ago, but got sucked back in with his (subject) "feelings" post.
>It is interesting to me that so many people seem baffled by boBB's response. Though his particular reasons are his particular reasons, and mine are mine, I find I often respond negatively to "compassion". To some people "compassion" can feel demeaning, diminishing. I understand many of the reasons why this is true for me, and they are not all that surprising. Since it is obvious that most people on this site are sincerely interested in expanding their understanding of human behavior, dismissing boBB's response could represent a missed opportunity for such expansion. I'm suggesting that a negative response to what some would call compassion is not as aberrant as you may believe, and could be interesting to think about. It could also be profitable to think about our own styles of expressing compassion, as well as the content of that expression.
P.S. I was just reminded of that cliched, popular complaint women were said to make about men a few years back. It was said that when women expressed their frustrations, fears, problems to males, the males invariably offered "solutions". Women, said those in the know, just wanted the guys to listen. (I always thought the gender issue was bogus, because both men and women seem to make this mistake with equal frequency, but I do believe it is usually a mistake.)
> I should have known that he wouldn't want any kind-hearted responses to his 'soul bearing'. What I can't figure out is why he bothered to answer Tina's question in the first place. Why would he want us to know how he feels, if he doesn't want us to care? I don't understand, he wants us to care about the "causes" he cares about, but he gets offended if we care about him.
> ......whatever....I'm done...CarolAnn
poster:claire 7
thread:34648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/34910.html