Posted by kathy on May 29, 2000, at 0:36:14
thank you shar for caring. I guess it is pretty safe to talk on line but still I have fear. I do seek Help with counseling but it isn't enough and it can get really expensive. I always thought that family should help in these circumstances but not mine unfortunetly. I take zoloft for my depression but after 2 months I feel that it just gives me extra energy so I become more agitated and hype, it doesn't take away the sadness,you know? My inside is really breaking down. I have too much responsibility to just quit for a while and rest and then go back to normal routine of life again. And besides I can't just call up my work and say "oh you have to cancell all my duties and patients for now because Iam just going through a major nervous breakdown ". I just have to lock myself in my house so no one sees my puffy eyes from crying so much or looking like a looser and having to deal with those who say " oh poor girl, ohhh, ahhh, how are you Dear, ohhh,let us know if we can do anything". And right after they meet up with someone else they say" oh Dear, I really feel sorry for her..." and so on... Iam just so tired that I can't think straight. My Ex says OH you are just a weak crazy no good ofa person and in your state of mind you can't make anyone happy, you are a total mess... He mentally screws with my brain and ofcourse because Iam vulnerable I take it all and just burn and burn and now is the time that I cannot afford to go through this major breakdown. I wish I had more self respect not to think the way I do. I never knew divorce was this tuff and emotionally exhausting. I feel as though I have a small body and it just can't take it anymore
poster:kathy
thread:35047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/35047.html