Posted by Gordon on May 29, 2000, at 9:27:55
In reply to Mother relationship/therapy, posted by JennyR on May 28, 2000, at 23:56:25
Having had a similar background growing up and having discussed it ad nauseam with a couple of shrinks, the best way I found to handle this type of relationship is to grieve for the relationship that never was and never will be. The grieving process is very therapeutic and hopefully once you get through it you will be able to let the zingers pass by without getting to you. Remember that you can't recreate a relationship that never was.
Also, if your mother is aging, you might want to consider if she is clinically depressed or not. If she is, medication will make a very significant difference in her outlook; or it did in my case anyway. There's a little test at http://www.celexa.com that you can take for your mother. When I did that and she had many of the symptoms, I wrote a letter to her internist suggesting that he evaluate her for depression and told him what I saw, having a lot more contact with her than he did. He did put her on Celexa and it has done wonders for her attitude.
That and my learning to not respond have changed our relationship for the better by several magnitudes.
poster:Gordon
thread:35043
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/35086.html