Posted by ksvt on July 2, 2000, at 21:39:36
In reply to Re: Do your docs communicate?¿ksvt, posted by allisonm on July 2, 2000, at 12:06:02
> ksvt,
> It sounds as though you have a good set-up of caring people. Just curious, and I don't mean to pry: how did your pdoc and you arrive at the decision to find another therapist? Did he bring it up? Did you? How did he help you find your current therapist?
>
> I'm just wondering because my pdoc asks me periodically whether I think I'm benefitting from our visits. I've always said yes, but now am beginning to wonder whether he keeps asking because thinks differently (or maybe I'm just paranoid).
>
> Thanks.
>
> Allison
Allison. I don't mind the question. I saw my pdoc in therapy for almost 2 years and I stopped because I was sort of burned out on therapy (for most of that time I was going twice a week) and because I had exceeded my insurance company's lifetime cap on mental health benefits, so regular therapy was feeling very unaffordable. However I stayed in touch with him after that (more typically he with me) and saw him periodically as I'd feel real stressed about something. With one 4 month exception, I never saw him after that time for more than 2 weeks in a row, so it wasn't like I was really engaged in therapy that was headed anywhere. After about 2 years, I found myself way overextended at work and very stressed about it. I was convinced that the problem was an issue of time management and organization. I think it was also that I just had more to do than I could handle. Anyway, I it occurred to me that I had a work life that was a breeding ground for depression and I needed to find ways to work less/more efficiently. My pdoc had a pretty traditional approach and was not really into the behavorial stuff at all. I also was feeling that I would really rather see a woman. I had a name of someone who I had heard about a few years before, and I considered just contacting her on my own without ever discussing it with my pdoc, because I really did feel sort of awkward about this. As tempting as this approach was, I knew it was a pretty shitty way to treat someone who had always tried to be helpful to me. I think I couched it to him in terms of wanting to see a therapist who could deal with some very specific behavorial issues. He picked up on the idea pretty quickly, probably because he'd rather have me in therapy than out. He recommended the same therapist I had thought of calling and he sort of set things up with her. He's made himself very available since then both to me and to her, and I'm sort of tied to him anyway because of my ongoing need for prescription medications. The therapy I'm in now is considerably more extensive had has gone on a lot longer than I really bargained for, but my pdoc has really encouraged me to stick with it. The money issue isn't as big now because my state passed a law prohibiting health care caps that just targeted mental health services. Sometimes I wonder if I stuck with my therapy with my pdoc too long, because I really think I relate better to a woman therapist. On the other hand, my pdoc has always been very professional and has demonstrated to me on numerous occasions that his ego would not get in the way of what I thought was best for me. I'm very grateful for his willingness to stay involved.
I would encourage you to be up front with your own doctor about this. I know its hard, but if the guy is any good at all, he should be able to help you work through this. I can think of countless times that I wish, in retrospect, that I had been more proactive and considerably more candid about issues related to therapy. Of course when you're depressed, it's hard not to just want to put yourself in someone else's hands anyway, so its hard to be disposed to take control yourself. If you can raise these issues I think you'll probably be better off for it. Good Luck!
poster:ksvt
thread:38865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000630/msgs/39075.html