Posted by Nibor on July 24, 2000, at 21:37:50
In reply to Rage, Anger, and those damn Mood Swings - Help!, posted by Greg on July 24, 2000, at 9:00:37
> Hi all,
>
> I posted a thread a few weeks back about some real bad depression I was having (the train incident). I've been feeling a little better, but still off balance. I have been experiencing periods of rage, anger and intense mood swings. Yesterday I spent an hour in my garage hitting the punching bag (the big bag), to the point where my knuckles were bleeding. I got a weird sensation of satisfaction from this, although this am I'm simply feeling pain. I'm snapping at people, getting angry over things I shouldn't be, feeling socially anxious and my tolerance is at an all time low.> This is getting out of control for me and I don't like it, and I definitely don't like me! My friends and family aren't exactly thrilled either... Mood swings are the worst, one minute happy as a clam, the next, the devil in blue jeans and tennis shoes! I am however getting very good at apologizing to people....Any help and suggestions you can give me would, as always, be appreciated.
>
> HELP!
>
> GregHello, Greg
I'm new here, so I hope you don't mind my jumping in. Something interesting I was told: New studies have shown that punching a pillow or throwing things or other such actions do not release anger but actually intensify it. I know that type of action is often recommended, but apparently calming activities are what "they" say does more good.
Anyway, below is something from the Undoing Depression website about anger. (There is more on the site on Mood Changes and so on.)"Anger is a particular trouble spot for many people. We are often aware of a feeling of estrangement from the world, our noses pushed up against the glass watching real life behind the window, and a consequent bitterness, hurt, or resentment is always lurking in the background. At the same time we may feel it is our own fault we feel this way; after all, we could just jump into the midst of life if we chose. So there is a background of anger in our lives, which we may recognize yet feel we are not entitled to. And this anger and self-blame feeds on itself in a vicious circle, so it is often nearly impossible to be sure that we are justified in feeling the depth of anger we experience in any particular situation. We second-guess ourselves constantly. Our guilt makes us self-sacrificing: we will absorb ill treatment from others as if it is our due, but eventually we will get pushed too far and explode in a tirade of anger that unloads all the steam we have built up. Then we scare others, and feel out of control.
"It's important to remember that anger, like all other emotions, is neither good nor bad in itself; it's just an innate response we have. Anger can be used for many worthwhile purposes. It's the fuel that feeds our desire for justice, what makes us want to see wrongs put right. What is scary is that it feels like it can run away with us. But I don't think that is nearly as true as most of us tell ourselves. The spouse abuser says: "I lost it, I snapped, I couldn't control myself." But the fact is that he did control himself. He didn't beat his wife to death (we hope), he beat her until he felt he'd taught her a lesson, then he stopped. His anger wasn't in control, he was using it. All of us have the capacity to control our anger, to use it to our own purposes.
"Anger can't be escaped, but we can tame it, live with it and make it safe, even use it for productive ends. Practicing assertive communication and behavior can help make sure that anger is constructively expressed and doesn't hurt people important to us. And as we develop assertive skills, we find that we feel less aggrieved and isolated, and thus have less to be angry about."
ttyl,
Nibor
poster:Nibor
thread:41307
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000717/msgs/41336.html