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Real Problem with Anger where None is Warranted

Posted by tina on August 15, 2000, at 17:27:46

Hi Gang: I just need to rant. i just took a long walk trying to clear my head about a few things and I ended up in a field where they are going to build new houses. I looked up and saw the builder's sign and walked over to it and laid into it like it was a heavy bag at the gym. Then I walked over to a pile of hay bales and beat the crap out of them too and then the wall of a sand and gravel pit. Basically I have screwed up my right hand nicely and it is swollen really nicely. Didn't break any bones though. What confuses me is that I see this as a failure. Once I got started, I wanted to break every bone in my hand but the fact that I didn't makes me feel like I failed somehow. I was also trying very hard to make my hand bleed profusely but couldn't manage that either and regard that as a failure. How crazy am I???
I just out of the blue got so enraged that I HAD to hit something and I had every intention of doing real damage. Don't really have a question, just wanted to whine and vent. Funny thing is, I'm still angry.
Just me, thanks for listening


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