Posted by Racer on October 1, 2000, at 14:08:27
In reply to I've had enough!!!, posted by pullmarine on October 1, 2000, at 4:43:47
Wow! I wanna stop my pills, too. I wanna stop feeling tired all the time, and get rid of the cotton mouth, and lose some of this extra weight! I want to live a normal life.
You know what else? I take my pills, despite it all, because they WORK. Without them, I couldn't keep going. They've given me the strength to get myself through some difficulties that I couldn't have managed without them. I know that I can stop them next year, but until then I continue to pop pills every morning, grateful that they exist.
You know what you can learn from that? If you're hating your pills that much, they're NOT WORKING for you. Is your doctor aware of how you feel? (I know that some doctors are worthless. I have experienced it. If your doctor is one of those, please let us know. Maybe what I learned can help you fight through it. And I really do know how difficult it is to fight a doctor when you feel as though life is just too damn much to deal with anymore. Difficult, but don't tell me it's impossible. I've DONE it. If you tell me it's impossible, it'll be like a slap in my face, and I know you don't want to do that.) Change the drugs, let's see if something else works for you.
Therapy? It helps too. The secret is you have to want it to work. And then you have to find the RIGHT therapist. I interviewed almost a dozen when I was looking for a therapist who could help me. You know what I was looking for? Someone who would push me, but in a caring sort of way. I found her, and she changed my life. I still suffer from episodes of depression. But I've got a lot more insight into my own behavior and reactions. That, believe it or not, is enough of a change to improve my life.
Lastly, do you recognise your anger? Everything you post here reminds us of your pain, but I don't see you mentioning your rage. You sound really angry to me, and maybe if you can look around and find out where the anger is really directed, that might help. (but for heaven's sake, camping on your doctor's porch with a roll of duct tape and a garden hose is NOT therapuetic, no matter how satisfying it might sound!)
Good luck, and I'm pulling for you!
(But I'm curious about your handle. I'll explain mine if you explain yours?)
poster:Racer
thread:45583
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000926/msgs/45603.html