Posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 20:56:03
In reply to self-destructive friend--NEED HELP!!, posted by lala on November 6, 2000, at 9:13:17
If you are willing to take action, act. Do not threaten to tell her family. Tell her family, now. She has a child who is also experiencing this episode. If your friend gets help, depending on what type, she will need to have someone care for her child. Will her family do that?
As other posters have indicated, she is unlikely to stop on her own, and unlikely to appreciate anything you do on her behalf right now.
At the very least, her child does not need to be having this experience.
Shar
> i desperately need advice. one of my dearest friends i fear is on a road to self-destruction. here's a little history...she has been previously diagnosed as manic depressive, shortly after her father committed suicide about 15 years ago(he was also manic depressive). she and i have been friends for 5 years now and i quickly see her spiraling down. she briefly went to a psychiatrist 2-3 years ago who prescribed her prozac...she gave that up after a couple of weeks, because she was more afraid of what everyone would think of her. we live in separate cities, so i'm not around to see her behavior most of the time. from our phone conversations, i have encouraged her to see a doctor again on numerous occasions. it wasn't until about 2 months ago that she told me that she was seeing a counselor once a week and felt like it would work out. i'm assuming that she's given that up as well. anyway, she has developed a drinking problem here recently and it is of course adding to her problems. i've talked until i'm blue in the face, but it doesn't help. she never acts depressed or sad and i have never seen her break down and cry or even "seriously" discuss with me anything.
>
> just last night, i had come in town to visit her, and we went to dinner. she blatantly told me that she had recently cut her arms and beat her head after something had happened. my jaw dropped. why on earth would she tell me this when i am the person always on her butt to stop her behavior and get help???? i thought she was just telling me that for attention until i confirmed the story with another one of her close friends that lives in the same town. she showed her what she had done to herself. i'm not sure if this is characteristic in self-injury to tell people like it is nothing.
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> I don't know what to do. she will not seek help on her own and none of her family is aware of how bad things are.
>
> i have to do something, i can not standby and watch her do this, she is a single mother of 1, and has a great job. how she manages to keep herself together is beyond me. i feel like there will come a time that she will break down or explode.
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> i want to confront her but am afraid of triggering something. my first inclination is to talk to her and try to get her to be serious and realize what she is doing. it's all a joke to her-the cutting-the drinking-the drinking and driving-the denial. if i can't get her to do this the only thing i can think to do is threaten her. meaning, i plan to let her mother, who is a nurse, know what her daughter is doing.
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> how wrong is this of me? i am willing to temporarily lose this friendship as long as it gets her the help she needs.
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> WHAT CAN I DO??? of the 2 of us that are aware of her problems, i am the only one prepared to do anything about it...but i want to do it the right way.
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> ANY ADVICE IS MUCH APPRECIATED! I NEED TO DO THIS QUICK.
>
> thanks
poster:shar
thread:48252
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20001102/msgs/48406.html