Posted by Racer on February 6, 2001, at 19:02:20
In reply to New to Effexor and depression, what to expect?, posted by mike123 on February 5, 2001, at 10:47:01
Oh my! What a terrible situation to be in! I'm glad you've started something to help, and hope that this board helps you as much as it has helped me and others over time.
As for anti-depressants in general, they aren't magic. They can help you focus on what you need to change in your behavior, by clearing the waters muddied by depression, but they're not a magic bullet to fix whatever ails you. That's the bad news.
The good news is that often it's only that clearing that you need in order to see what's really going on. For example, I always think that I'm somehow so horrendously damaged that anyone can see at first sight how 'weird' or 'crazy' or 'mentally ill' I am. Then the depression lifts, and I see that people aren't looking so closely at me as all that, largly because they're much more concerned about how I see them! Does that make any sense?
Good luck with the Effexor, and keep us posted. Feel free to email me if you'd like, for any questions you may have that you'd rather not post in public, or here or at Psycho-social-babble.
Now for my unsolicited advice: Depression tends to draw us into ourselves, and focus our attention away from other people. Nothing you can do now will make your high school or college years anything other than what they were, so don't waste energy on them. The energy you use up wishing that you'd had those fabulous years of your youth could be put to better use. Pay attention to the people around you. Go out with friends and watch how they interact with others. See if you can see something that makes a difference. Take a good look at your friends: what do you do differently with them from what you do with others? Maybe you speak more quickly, or express deeper thoughts, or show a weird sense of humor. Maybe you laugh more, or disagree more. There's probably something you do differently with them.
Don't tell us that your friends are different from the people you're trying to meet, that only says that you're not trying to meet people you are likely to like! Meet new people by going to book signings, joining special interest groups, anything that puts you in contact with other people who share an interest with you.
And since all that takes a lot of energy, don't try to do it all at once. Give yourself time to get some relief from depression and then give yourself a goal you can achieve: go to one event every six weeks, for instance. Something that won't be too much to handle. You can always do more if you like.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
poster:Racer
thread:53346
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010131/msgs/53440.html