Posted by roo on February 21, 2001, at 12:44:00
In reply to Depression and relationships, posted by ronnie on February 21, 2001, at 10:26:46
Yes, I've dealt with these same feelings. Broke
off an engagement. Now we're in therapy working
things out. I've found my anxiety and my moods
swinging about how I felt about him were more about
me than they were about him. In other words, I
didn't love myself, so it was hard to feel loving
(consistently) towards my boyfriend. I noticed when
I felt good about myself, I felt good about us, and
when I felt crappy about myself, I doubted the whole
relationship, and whether he was "the one". Now
I'm trying to remove him from my moods and realize
I've always been moody, and that it dosen't really
have anything to do with him, and that having him
in my life isn't going to solve all my problems. I
also had extreme anxiety, I remember, about getting
married, b/c it was very scary to think of someone
else's heart being in my hands. The happier my fiance
became with me, and the more he loved me, the more
frightened I became, b/c there seemed to be so much
at stake, and I didn't want the responsibility of
"screwing it up". Now I'm trying not to take _OVER_
responsibility for our whole relationship and not feel
like the success or failure of everything rests purely
on my shoulder.
poster:roo
thread:54577
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010221/msgs/54586.html