Posted by ChrisK on March 24, 2001, at 5:07:28
In reply to treatment resistant depression (part 2), posted by sweetmarie on March 22, 2001, at 7:24:44
I sought help for my depression for the first time 20 years ago when I was 17yo. Since then it has been an on again off again struggle but mostly on again. My depression peaked within the last 5 years. I went through a period where I lost 3 good jobs during a four year period and was struggling on next to nothing.
Three years ago everything came to a head and I tried suicide twice. Both ended up in the local ICU and then a trip to the psych hospital for some rest. That's where I met my current pdoc. Since then we have put in a lot of time and effort to straighten me out.
After battling through seemingly endless trials of SSRI's, Effexor, Remeron,, etc I wanted to try TCA's since my father (also depressive) reacted to amitriptyline. I started on Nortriptyline and did better than any other trials. Biggest problem was that I still had a lot of suicidal thoughts.
The best med change I ever made was to start Zyprexa. I t alleviated almost all of my negative thinking and obsession with death. I still wasn't completely out of the depression but I was almost functional again. I still wasn't working and really lacked emotions but I wasn't wanting to kill myself.
For the next year or so we tried to eliminate the anhedonia and get some type of activating med that would help with the anergia too. I went through most of the stimulating meds from Wellbutrin to Adderall and ritalin. Nothing really changed my mood even if I was a little more active.
During this time I got well enough to take on a part time job. The big change though came this year. On January 2nd I started taking Mirapex. After a lot of internet research I convinced my pdoc that it was worth a try and now I'm glad he agreed. I finally have emotions back. I can enjoy simple things.
This year I am working a few more hours per week and feel like I'm getting something out of my job (even though it has absolutley nothing to do with what I was doing in the past and went to college for). I joined a social/charitable group and stay active with them. I joined a dart league and look forward to a golf league this summer. These are things that never would have been part of my life a year ago.
I'm not saying that my med program is the best for everyone but it has worked out for me. It's only been three months but I have hope that it will last. Right now I'm down to just the Nortriptyline, Zyprexa and Mirapex. There were times when I couldn't keep track of all of the meds I was taking - sometimes up to 6 at a time.
There is hope. If I can get through things after 20 years of lost hope then I truly believe that there is something out there to help just about anybody.
Chris
poster:ChrisK
thread:57143
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010319/msgs/57357.html